THE GREAT BRITISH SEWING ME ?

SOMETIMES THINGS ARE NOT WHAT THEY " SEAM "

A major fallacy has been going around about me for years

There's Nina , oh shes so arty , so crafty , she creates some really great stuff

and herein lies the untruth

Granted , I do like to make something my own with a few personal touches and my kids fancy dress outfits for school have been the stuff of legend at times but in reality I am not all that I "seam".

For that perfect seamstress and design maven everyone has me down as , she's a work of fiction ,a fraud. Someone who is able to convince you of brilliance with a sleight of hand so quick that you don't see the dropped stitches hanging in its wake.

While I would love to be that sort of person who can whip up a beautiful needlefelt robin to be kept for years to come or creating a patchwork quilt that can be kept and treasured as a family heirloom , my patience levels with anything vaguely intricate tends to put paid to any of that kind of pretentious frippery. And besides that Kirstie  Allsopp , she's a little bit on the annoying and patronising side isn't she ?......

With the aid of smoke and mirrors I have managed to convince people of seeing greatness in my creations but in reality if you look beneath the surface I am a major doyenne in the art of "yeah fuck it, that'll do ".

From handmade aprons for birthday presents that have caused stress of epic proportions to the set of new chair cushion covers for my brother that nearly broke me for life ,  if there's a way in which I can cut corners on professional finish , I'm in there like a shot.

The first notions of being not quite the crafty person I had myself down for came as a youngster after being taught to knit by my nanna then my mum , the look of frustration on their faces as I once again produced a piece of knitting so full of holes from dropped stitches it could've been used as a rope ladder was rivalled only by the one I used to get from my brother in the early 90s as he tried to teach me how to play the electric guitar. I can only assume the fact that I was his sister stopped him from slamming the instrument into my head like a member of the who !

School textiles lessons ought to have been another pinpointer on where my skills don't really lay. I can only imagine Mrs Allen , our textiles teacher must've locked herself in the materials cupboard sobbing  rocking back and forth after yet another lesson  of " miss, miss , I think I've broken the machine again miss "

To this day I bet she's never encountered another pupil who was able to take a simple rag doll pattern and muck it up so spectacularly that the end result was some club footed monstrosity that made the elephant man look like a male model ....And as for my attempt at a cushion , I'm quite surprised she didn't have a nervous breakdown after all those times it had to be cut from the machine with threads spooling out left and right.

So you'd think i'd have given up my crafting ventures with disasters such as these but no, I ploughed on trying and sometimes not quite getting it right .
I'm a dab hand at sewing on buttons , fixing hems and customising something off my own back but give me a pattern to follow and I start to hyperventilate. I'm a freestyle crafter if its not quite how it should look I'll do something to make it look right but I'm not going to waste my time sitting unpicking it and measuring and all that faffing about . I'm a trickster who will make you believe that the ancient greek outfits I've created for school have taken lots of time when all I've done is cut a few holes in a pillowcase and spray painted a few accessories gold.

In fact I can't understand how there are parents moaning about having to spend money on all the different theme days they have when I've managed to create various prize winning outfits from stuff I've had laying round the house . Who needs an expensive on line purchased outfit they are going to wear  a handful of times when you can produce loads of different things out of old clothing and household junk. From stuff I've had at home we've managed to produce kings , mummies , knights, pirates, snowmen, robins, harry hill and even a whoppee cushion. anything is possible with a little imagination !
I'm also a bit of a maverick on the clothes fixing side , I have over the years worked out that if something doesn't fit or suit my slightly over generous top half, a quick lop off of the collar and a cut in V neck does wonders for the fit of a garment . I've had my disasters there , the vintage dress that completely exploded down the front after too much pressure on a slightly dubious sewn  v neck from the heaving bosom underneath springs to mind but hey these things are sent to try us.
 Yes I could learn to do it properly but then where's the fun in that !

So what if  I'm no Vivienne Westwood and my tailoring skills would have Savile Row in fits. I love my cack handed attempts at craft and at least they will keep you all in stitches .

ALL THINGS BRIGHT AND POO-TIFUL

IRRESPONSIBLE DOG OWNERS - A MESS-AGE TO YOU

MONDAY morning 8.30 , you're on the school run and wondering why the person in front of you is doing the Ministry of Silly Walks.

But no , the world hasn’t suddenly gone ” Pythonesque ” it’s just that although we should be admiring the beautiful colours of spring they’ve just fallen foul of a pavement that's 50 shades of brown.

For while the majority of dog owners are responsible there are still a few who lack the basic etiquette in picking up after their pooch even when provided with one of over 700 dog litter bins in Medway.

If you recall, we were encouraged to start scooping the poop in 1996 when the Dog Fouling Act first came into place. The reason behind it being that scientists had discovered that dog/cat faeces had been found to contain the roundworm parasite which can cause Toxocariasis. An infection which if caught by humans could cause headaches, nausea, stomach pains and serious eye disorders that can last for 6-24 months. Just one single dog poo can contain up to at least 1 million microscopic roundworm eggs and these in turn can live for up to 2 years in soil which makes it one of the biggest carriers of the parasite as the poo degrades into it. For humans to contract Toxocariasis they have to come into contact with and ingest infected soil/sand such as that in kids play areas but it can be caught through direct contact with dogs/cats or inanimate objects as well such as shoe soles and pram/buggy wheels. So remember kids when mum tells you to wash your hands and wipe your feet , she's got a good reason for it !

kb.keepbritaintidy.org/dogs/publications/guidedog.pdf 

So that description of the consequences of not picking up after your animal should be enough to turn the stomach of even the hardiest of irresponsible dog owners and make them change their ways but sadly that's not the case.

I mean maybe I was a Womble in a former life but when one of my sons (as a toddler I hasten to add !) decided to crouch down on a packed beach in Broadstairs and take a massive dump on the edge of the seashore my first thought was to grab something to clear it up. So what is the problem with these people who feel that it's not their responsibility to pick up after their " little darlings". 

 On a short walk to the shops recently I lost count of the amount of times I had to shout ' look out ' to make sure my boys didn't step in various piles of faeces en route.
Some are just mere yards apart as if the dog and owner are laying a trail to find their way back home in a bizarre ' Hansel and Gretel ' parody.

And then of course we also have the 'part time' responsible dog owner , yeah you know who I'm talking about. The ones who think they are being good because they've bagged it up but when there's no bin in sight chuck it on the ground or even worse up in a tree or bush like some twisted and macabre Christmas decoration.

 In the freezing temperatures we've been having recently you'd think they'd appreciate having something warm in their pockets till they can dispose of it but hey ho......
(Incidentally after taking the photo above I turned round to walk away and stuck my size five boot straight into a big pile of the offending stuff we are talking about. The irony of the situation was not lost on me although my sense of humour did take leave for a few seconds!)

A common line you hear from the non picker uppers is that they didn't have a bag on them . That's a bit lame if you ask me, there are a couple of reasons you take your dog out for a walk, one is exercise and the other ? Well ,that's the thing you need the bag for, it's a bit of  a no brainer really. It doesn't have to be a fancy doggy poo bag ,baby nappy sacks, sandwich bags or a normal carrier will do the job just as well ( although you might want to look out for the holes in supermarket bags ! ). And seeing as you can also pick up bags from libraries and other community hubs you've really got no reason to not have one about your person.

Next up  " there was no bin for me to put it in " . Granted , at times there is some distance between you and the next dog litter receptacle but the fact is you can actually put your dog poo in a normal bin as long as its been securely bagged up so that's that argument out the window too.

You could feign ignorance of any law that says you should pick up their poop but unless you're blind ( a possible side effect of toxocariasis as it happens , that'll teach you not to clean up after your dog ! ) you can't fail to notice the bright yellow signs applied to many a lamp-post ( we could possibly be stereotyping where dogs like to hang out here but I digress ). They warn you that there is a fixed penalty of £80 to pay for letting your dog foul here and that can increase to a maximum of £1000 if you are found to be persistently offending the pavement with your dogs business.

Medway Council try to do their bit to keep the streets clean with regular patrols from community /plain clothes officers and a machine dedicated to picking up mess from green land areas such as parks and fields. However they can only take action when one of their officers actually witnesses someone failing to pick up their dog litter. They will always give a fine when they can and we can give them a helping hand in identifying the culprits. If you observe anyone letting their dog foul the pavement regularly you can report them to their LOVE MEDWAY PAGE . Note down details of the offender and their animal and let them know at this link. -http://www.medway.gov.uk/environmentandplanning/wastemanagement/lovemedway.aspx .
There's a chance if you tell someone to pick up their canines poo that you might get a mouthful of abuse but I doubt they'd be quite so vocal if confronted by a member of the police. 3 fixed penalty rates have been issued between 2012 -2013 if we all start being a bit more vigilant maybe we could make that rate a bit higher.

 Something else that I think would definitely make these inconsiderate dog owners sit up and take notice is if they realised that through their own selfishness they are adding to the amount of taxes they are having to pay. With the counties total bill for clearing up litter ( including graffiti and dog mess )coming in at approximately 15 million for the past year they'd soon have something to say if they realised their hard earned ( or not as the case may be )cash was being frittered away on someone else having to pick up something they could do themselves for free .

In perspective the amount of cash being spent on it could be put towards training 700 N.H.S nurses or fixing 300,000 potholes in our roads.

It's something to think about isn't it ?

And if that's not enough let me finish with this

In the area where I live there is a man who walks his dog regularly everyday despite having lost both his legs and being confined to a wheelchair . He without fail also makes sure that if his dog does its business on that walk that it's cleared up and disposed of in the correct way even if it does take a bit of major operation for him to achieve this .

So to those of you who do continue to flout your responsibility, I hope you're ashamed of yourselves , he's a credit to us all .

ITS ALL ABOUT THE PRESENTATION NOT THE SIZE , MR STONE

                HELLO BOYS AND BYE BYE BOTTLE

IT seems apt that during Women's History Month something should occur in Medway and highlight why the female of the species are a force to be reckoned with.
You may recall my disdain in a previous post about an event at Rochester's Casino Rooms - the notorious ' National Cleavage Weekender ' and how I was convinced I'd been transported through a worm hole in the time/ space continuum to a parallel universe where Women's Lib had never happened.

Well dear reader it seems I wasn't the only one who thought that the whole thing  was a bit out-dated and more than just a "cheeky bit of fun " because on 22nd March 2013 the outcry over cleavage weekender did just what just what it says on the poster and went " national "

With a little bit of help from the writer of the original Medwire article( Michelle Gleaves ) , a Labour M.P ( Vince Maple ) and a certain adult education student ( guess who ? ) the Medway Messenger went live with their own piece on the event and it exploded through the social media and news stratosphere.  You can read their article here  http://t.co/iXY7Dbbcba

Picked up by amongst others the Mail, the Sun, ITV , the Huffington Post and making the BBC South East 10pm broadcast it swept across the country. It was even tweeted about by M.P Dianne Abbott in relation to the hash tag #Everyday Sexism .

Reaction fell into either one of two camps , those who thought it was just a light hearted bit of fun and that we were all getting our knickers ( and bra's ) in a twist about nothing or those who thought it was something worth shouting about .
 With condemnation for the night starting to build on Friday a message appeared on the Casino Rooms Facebook page that evening stating that  " as before we will be donating £1 towards the Breast Cancer U.K charity for every free entry ".  An odd turn of phrase that considering there is no mention of it on the poster which you would imagine would have made it an all the more popular night knowing it was going to a good cause ,do you not think ?

Also in a bid to make it sound a bit less sexist they joked of course  it was also open to men flashing their moobs or pecs , really cos you've missed putting some male cleavage on your poster , guys and again there's absolutely no mention of it ! Funny that ! It all reeks a little of trying to paper over some serious cracks at the last minute. 

Talking of the poster by the way ,there is a little something on the first one that has suspiciously gone A.W.O.L on the new one.
                                                      Can you spot the difference ?

Yes that's right, that Smirnoff ice bottle and logo that is so prevalent in the original poster has disappeared and why I hear you ask ? Well that's down to our good friend Cllr Maple who wrote to the firm Diageo who owns the brand and asked them if they were aware that their product was being used to promote such a night.

The reply from their head of government affairs Rachael Robertson was that of the negative and was quoted to have said  "I can confirm that Diageo in no way gave permission for our branding to be included and never would for such an irresponsible promotion. This would breach our rigorous internal codes on marketing and had approval been sought it would have been denied." she further added "We take our responsibility in marketing very seriously and would never want to be associated in any way with a promotion as irresponsible as this."

So it was bye bye bottle to National Cleavage Weekender.

 

Not that I imagine the Casino are too bothered there must be plenty of other drinks firms all too willing to get their drinks promoted in the future and as a good few people have pointed out alcohol does a lot more harm than a pair of boobs ever could.

 

So, from one little online news article a behemoth did grow showing that while lad culture might be on the rise some ladies aren't about to start letting them get away with it.

 

 And just for the record,while some of us girls have an opinion on what's right or what's not doesn't mean we're no fun.

To answer a few of my critics this week I'm not the worm that turned and I'm certainly no Mary Whitehouse but think about how your presenting this to the youngsters of today.

 A certain person commented on the Casino page that people like Michelle Gleaves and myself should ' unstitch our vaginas ' and realise that theme nights like this aren't ever that popular, that they are just to get people through the door and if we worked in a night club background we'd know that .

 

 This may be true but having worked in a night club myself I know that all to often these days girls ( and lets face it despite what the clubs might say about their over 18 policy that's just what some of these females are ) take 'theme ' and fancy dress to mean go out in a bra , thong and tutu as the ' sexy ' version of whatever the night is all about. Programmes like BBC 3's snog, marry, avoid all to often feature girls who think its the norm to have to dress this way to get people to love them and still don't believe that perhaps if they were just themselves and not a scary porn style caricature the one person who needs to love them ( I.E themselves )might be much happier.

To finish ,Breast Cancer is a serious disease and needs to be taught some respect , if the poster had featured a few less ' glamour model ' fake boobs and carried the charity logo there might never have been all this kerfuffle in the first place.

 

In fact Mr Stone , if you had thought  a little more about your presentation and less about the size ( of the crowd ) maybe it wouldn't have caused such a controversy about town .

 

( But I'm pretty sure you're glad it did )

 

 

 

 

 

TO TIMIDITY AND BEYOND .......

IMAGINE being so scared of having to speak to anyone that you'd rather wet your pants than have to open your mouth and ask to go to the toilet .
It probably sounds a bit silly to some people but that was me aged 5 so crippled by shyness that I would rather stand in a puddle of my own pee than tell the teacher I really needed to visit the lavatory.
I don't know what caused me to become so introverted and timid upon joining the education system but whatever it was brought me to the decision at that tender age not speak to anyone else apart from my family in a register barely above a whisper for the next 2 years.
It's not as if I was always a quiet child, my parents will often regale me with the tales of when  I ' the little madam ' would boss my older brother about when we were small. But there was always something about interacting with people who weren't part of my immediate family that terrified me beyond belief .
Various family members who we didn't see that much would often get yes /no answers before I sat in the corner eyeing them suspiciously if they came to visit. To this day I still feel bad that whenever I heard that a certain aunt was coming I would deliberately hide away upstairs from her until she went because her deep voice and loud laugh gave me the heebie jeebies.
And if this was the way I behaved to people I was related to then it doesn't take much to work out that if there was no family connection you'd stand no chance.
One of my favourite trick's on finding that any of my parents friends were coming round to the house was to pretend to be asleep so I wouldn't have to talk to them . In fact I would 'take a nap' so often I'm surprised I was never taken to the doctors to be diagnosed with narcolepsy.
I carried on in this vein for the next 2 years until one kindly old teacher took me aside while reading in a separate room one day and said " let me hear your big voice , no one needs to know about it if you don't want them to ". The " big " voice wasn't much louder than the whisper I had been using for the past couple of years but it was a start and at least now people could ( almost ) hear what I was saying.
Junior school was a bit daunting for someone who was as quiet as me but my advanced reading skills ( well, what do you think I was doing while I was hiding away from people in my bedroom ? ) meant I got on well in lessons . However the downside of this would be in the instance of ' you've read/written that well , why don't you read that out to the rest of the class? Now I don't know about the rest of you but standing in front of 30 expectant faces is daunting enough to someone who is confident in themselves but if you're a shy person you might as well be standing in front of a firing squad for all the sheer panic that's going through your mind at that particular moment . And heaven forbid the suggestion ' Why don't you read it out in assembly? ' should come up...... Someone get the school nurse, I think we might need to call an ambulance !
 I've found over the years that there is a bit of a stigma towards being shy , most confident loud people don't tend to understand that  repeatedly  saying things like" speak up " , " I cant hear you " ," speak louder "  doesn't actually help the timid person very much , in fact it tends to make them want to withdraw from the situation even more. In my case I would get so nervous about saying anything at all that I would rehearse it in my head over and over before even daring to utter it by which time I'd be so wound up with terror that it would stutter out of my mouth like a bad Bruce Forsyth impression. People also tend to think your being a bit rude if your not talking to them but they don't realise that your so terrified of speaking that its all your mind can think about let alone come up with that great conversation opener to break the ice.
 Leaving school at 16 having let my shyness hold me back from exploring any kind of higher education , I was thrust into the world of work where I could make a new start. People didn't know what I'd always been like and lets face it, in the world of retail you can't not talk . I still wasn't a big one for conversation but I did enough to get me through each working day.
A big turning point came in my discovery of a nightclub that played the music I liked to listen to.  At school to try and fit in I'd always gone along with what everyone else would say was cool whilst secretly loving to listen to my mum and dads old records and admiring the 6th formers who dared to dress differently from the pack, listening to the smiths , the cure and other alternative stuff .I'd been experimental on some non uniform days at school and it hadn't always gone down well ( black and red checked woollen trousers when everyone else was wearing stuff like 'I should be so lucky 'era Kylie is a particular one that sticks in the mind )but now those people weren't around to tell me I looked stupid. I started buying old stuff from charity shops and creating a whole new look for myself . With each new look I could become a new character , I was Nina ' the greatest dancer at subsonic' ( ok, I might be exaggerating slightly on that one! ), ' 60s mod girl straight out of Carnarby street or my particular favourite 'the female Jarvis cocker complete with powder blue 70s flared trouser suit and massive blonde afro wig. I might not have been the most talkative person around anyone else but my closest friends but with this new found confidence I did start to bloom a bit more than I had in years .
The biggest breakthrough though was after I had my twins in 2002 whereas before I'd had no-one to protect but myself I now had two little fella's that depended on me even more . After a shaky few years where post natal depression , sleepless nights and the dawning realisation that my life wasn't my own anymore a new person started to emerge . the one who'd let people tell her she wasn't doing things right for her beautiful boys suddenly started answering her critic's back instead of bursting into tears. She didn't take any crap anymore and stood her ground on what she believed was right instead of cowering away from the situation. In fact the change was so noticeable that friends and family started to comment on it . I decided to use it to my advantage . I started going out to the new local indie club on my own and made lots of new friends  through just  talking to people ( previously unheard of in the world of Nina ) and eventually from this gallivanting about D.J DEE VINYL was born. A confident vintage clothing clad whirling dervish of a woman who with her partner in crime the glorious Miss Hayley Rocks decided to take over the world of the solemn male indie D.J and show them a thing or two about looking good on the dance-floor. And the rest so the cliché says is history, Dee Vinyl has a little bit of a confidence crisis around about 2011 that culminates in a major change of course in what she wants to do when she eventually grows up ( which might happen sometime soon but I shouldn't hold your breath ! ) but it sorts itself out towards the end of 2012 when she finds her true talent. (And that's a whole other blog post so I digress.)
So I  finally found my voice with a little help from my two favourite men in the world plus music and clothing .It's not to say I don't have the odd moment when I turn back into shy girl , I still  hate having to use the phone knowing that the minute someone answers it I am likely to start doing that fateful stuttering Brucie impersonation but I learned to turn my fear into something productive and with fellow former shyness sufferers as this

David Bowie.
Bob Dylan.
Joan Rivers.
Cher.
Barbara Streisand.
Lady Gaga.
Elvis Presley.
Abraham Lincoln.
Albert Einstein.
i think the timid and quiet should set their sights "shy " high .

CASINO ROOMS MAKE A BOOB

 

 Sexism - Found alive and well and living in Rochester  Part one .

 

 

 

FORGIVE me for asking , but sometime recently did I fall asleep and wake up in a parallel universe where Women's Lib never happened ?

I enquire because it seems that it was only a couple of weeks ago we were all getting on our high horses about a certain song sung at a high profile Hollywood event that reduced women to what they were hiding under their clothes.

 

That's ok said some its only a bit of fun, its not the sort of thing that men really think of women in this day and age .

Oh really, so in that case this event at Rochester's casino room's is all in my imagination then .

With the tag line " Free entry for exposed cleavage b4 11pm at Kent's Biggest and Breast Venue  ", it does make me wonder if I've suddenly strayed into a politically incorrect sitcom of yesteryear.

I found out about the event through a re-tweet of this article from Medway on line publication The Medwire  http://t.co/eE9AtWJY9n

and I have to agree with everything writer Michelle Gleaves had to say .

 

Don't get me wrong I'm not one to burn my bra , in fact in my case it'd probably be a danger to shipping but this really irks me in the same way Seth Macfarlane and his"we saw your boobs" song did. Have we really gone back to period of time when women were just seen as a pretty piece of meat to be pawed over by the men around them .I'm going out on a limb here but I'm betting not at any point in the Casino's diary is there pencilled in a future date for ' NATIONAL LUNCHBOX / PACKAGE WEEKENDER ' where the lads have to turn up ' tackle out ' in return for free entry . Hundreds of the area's finest ' gentlemen ' showing the ladies just what they could be taking home after a few Sambucca's too many, now that I'd like to see but I'm thinking highly unlikely. And remember guys it's not the size, it's the presentation that counts !

 The claim that its celebrating ' National Cleavage Week ' is all very well but I wonder how the staff would feel if it was their own young daughter being objectified  and leered at by male door staff to determine whether she fits the criteria to enter their establishment .

 How would they feel if that same young girl felt she had to go out in next to nothing to save a bit of money on a night out. From having worked in a nightclub background myself in the past I know first-hand that some youngsters avoid taking winter coats out in freezing temperatures just to cut down on costs whilst risking hypothermia or worse on the way home.

The Casino says that its very mindful of its promotions with a view to not offending anyone but in a world where some of us are trying to teach our children the value of dignity and respect promotions like this really are like a step back in time.

 

 

TO BE CONTINUED............ 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

HOLDING OUT FOR A ZERO

                   Can Bonnie Tyler ‘TURN  AROUND ‘ our U.K  losing streak ?

AS a sometime D.J you would expect my music taste to be fairly cool. However I have a guilty secret, one so bad that it attracts even more condemnation than my choice of daily newspaper.

What is this terrible thing of which you dare not utter, I hear you cry.

Ok, I’ll admit it but please don’t think any worse of me, for it only happens but once a year.

Ok, deep breath, here we go.......I LOVE EUROVISION.
 

There I said it and if the U.K viewing figures for last year’s competition are to be believed I’m not the only one. Along with an approximate 9.5 million other Brits, I tune into that great bastion of cheesy foreign pop ‘THE EUROVISION SONG CONTEST ‘ every year and 2013 won’t be any different. Come Saturday 18^th May, I’ll be in front of my T.V with phone or computer to hand ready to share my views on the proceedings in Malmo, Sweden via social media.

And so it came to pass that it was through this medium on 7^th March that Eurovision fans found out who would be performing our entry this year. BONNIE TYLER TO REPRESENT UK IN EUROVISION squawked thousands of tweets and on-line newspaper headlines.

 It didn’t take long for the jokes to start coming on twitter such as ‘ I got a Bonnie Tyler Sat- Nav. for Xmas , it’s rubbish, it tells you to turn around but every now and then it falls apart ‘ or ‘ I’m livid to find out Bonnie Tyler is not a handsome Scottish decorator’.

Miss Tyler’s name is one that conjures up the epitome of 80s soft rock ballads when the mullet was king and hairspray was the drug of choice. I’m pretty sure the last time she was in the spotlight was back at the start of the new millennium when she was the evening entertainment at Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta Jones wedding reception. So quite why she’s been chosen to represent the best of what the United Kingdom has to offer I’m not sure.

In general our own little island never seems to get it quite right anymore. If we try to be trendy and with it something more traditional wins and when we go for old and classic something up to date and of the moment is the one that gets its moment of glory. You only have to look at poor old Engelbert Humperdink last year scraping in at second to last while Sweden’s  Lorenna took the top spot with club hit ‘Euphoria ‘.

We didn’t always do so bad, winning twice in the 60s, once in the 70s ,80s and the 90’s, even getting decent chart places with some of the songs regardless of what position they came. Lately though the choice of song or performer doesn’t seem to have the same magic as those from other countries .Maybe the BBC sees it as something as a little bit of a nuisance sibling that it has to keep giving airtime to because they’re related but doesn’t really care too much about . But I think they could be missing a trick.

A lot of the recent year’s winners are songs that have already been at no.1 in their own countries before they come to the competition so why don’t we ever use that mentality. The argument I suppose is that most people who would be a great choice for this plan are the ones who wouldn’t want to touch the opportunity with a bargepole for fear of jeopardising their cool factor. Which then leaves us with those from the x factor /voice style camp but that wouldn’t be so bad either at least some of those are well known all around the globe and much as I despise the man Simon Cowell hasn’t got where he is today without being able to pick a winning formula when he sees  it.

Anyway, let’s get back to Bonnie, I’ve thought long and hard about the theory on the calling up of this lady from the valleys and I’ve come up with this. Our last two winning songs ‘Making your mind up ‘ by Bucks Fizz = 80s school disco classic .‘ Then there was 1997’s Love shine a light ‘by Katrina and the waves who also had the massive 80s hit ‘Walking on Sunshine ‘. And who was the singer of that other rocktastic hit of the 80s ‘ total eclipse of the heart ‘ why none other than miss bonnie herself so I’m thinking the Eurovision boffins finally think they have hit on a formula that might just work , that 80s might just be their lucky number

We will have to wait and see on the conclusion to that particular experiment but until then we’ll have to take bonnie at her word and ‘believe in me ‘.

                     http://youtu.be/cqXk_FRw62Q                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                       

MAMMARY GUY - THE OSCAR'S BIGGEST BOOB?

OSCAR night 2014 - Dame Judi Dench recieves a standing ovation for her rousing rendition of comedy male nudity ditty ” Willies of the silver screen “

OK, maybe that bit isn’t strictly true but if this years ” entertainment ” is anything to go by then who knows .
The entertainment to which I refer of course is the evenings host Seth Macfarlane’s opening song ” We saw your boobs “.
Now, dont get me wrong , I’m not someone who’s had a sense of humour by-pass, on the contrary some of my favourite film moments involve nudity or lavatorial humour but i can see why this has ruffled a few feathers .
The general feeling amongst women tends to fall into the whole double standards category over it . Like i say its highly unlikely we’d see a woman doing a song about male parts on the film worlds biggest night of the year so why is it ok for a male host to do the same. And is the fact he’s got the gay male voice choir singing with him supposed to somehow make up for it cos “hey they are just like us girls” just with slightly less handbags…..
There are those who argue that the song was done tongue in cheek and that looking to macfarlanes creations ’ Family Guy ’ and ’ Ted ‘  it should be obvious thats not how he really feels about women and shouldnt be taken seriously. I get the whole tongue in cheek thing as do pretty much most women but when a host is also cracking jokes about domestic violence and reducing the women who have worked hard to get where they are today to a pair of boobs while doing a coy smile to camera to imply he doesnt mean it he does come across a bit like a nasty school playground bully.
Macfarlane does apparentley have a girlfriend and i do wonder if one day he was to have a daughter if he would appreciate her being reduced to a pair of breasts on a big screen by a smug host .
Its said that he was chosen to shake the oscars up a bit this year maybe they need to shake themselves up a bit next year and realise that women are worth so much more .
Oh and Dame Judi get practising I think i feel a song coming on ……
by Nina Page