HEAT – It ain’t half rot ,mum

 

I can’t deny that Heat magazine is a popular publication with readership stats that at its peak have topped 700,000 but having bought a copy for the first time this week it’s not difficult to see why its average weekly sale has started to lose steam  (Weekly sales are reported to have fallen to 261,715).

From beginning to end it has a tendency to come across like that bitchy group of girls we all knew at school. You know the ones, slagging you off behind the bike sheds as they have a fag because you’ve put on a bit of weight and your clothes aren’t right. The next minute they’re your best mate giving you a makeover and saying how fabulous you look because you’ve embarked on a fitness regime that’s slimmed you down into “ one of them”. And all the while they are bitching about you behind your back hoping you’re not about to run off with their boyfriend.

Editor in chief Lucie Cave was quoted in the Guardian as saying that the magazine is supposed to be “ cheeky and fun not mean “ but in my opinion it all just comes across as a bit vacuous and vacant. Something it has in common with some of the celebs featured inside its hallowed pages.

In short it’s the print equivalent of the cast of The Only Way is Essex.

MUMS-NOT

Dear Mums of Mumsnet ,

                         I don't know if you've read the aim on the about us  page of your favourite website but just to refresh your memories or for those of you who are too busy puréeing mung beans and alfalfa up for little merlin as he sleeps in his fully biodegradable non toxic cot I'll help you out .
       
  Make parents' lives easier by pooling knowledge, advice and support

you see that do you that word at the end that means so much to lots of parents who might struggle a bit from time to time with what junior and siblings might throw at them. you  know that parenthood isn't always a rosy hued Cath Kidston existence all the time do you. you are aware that even though some of us try our best with to keep our adult relationships on track , sometimes the arrival of third , fourth or even fifth member of your gang might be the thing that breaks you for good. 
         you do , ok then maybe you should stop putting down those that don't quite always fit into your happy middle class image of mummies and daddies mould because regardless of whether that person is a Hollywood star or not , they are still a mum/dad who loves their child just as much as you do . is it really so " appalling " that someone might want to have kids with the person she really believes is the right one this time. is your life so wipe clean and perfect that any hint of imperfection is eradicated with multi surface sanitizer spray and bleach.
                                           support is one of the greatest things you can give a woman from the day she starts carrying but all too often some of us leave behind the school bullies only to find ourselves caught in the clutch of the mummy mafia.
              The bullying starts from day one, you must have a natural birth or you have failed the mummy test without passing go . well a massive fit brought on preeclampsia , trying to walk through a bed cos my brain was so addled with toxins my body was slowly poisoning my body with and being technically dead for two minutes on the operating table put paid to my natural birth so I suppose I should have got the doctor to write needs to try harder on my medical report before I went home.
               rule number two of mummy mafia is of course BREAST IS BEST , you must breast feed to not do it means you are the lowest of the low and you're depriving your child of growing up into a future president/brain surgeon in fact it should be classed as child abuse if you don't do it - granted yes breast milk is the best stuff (ask Myleene Klass , she serves it up at dinner parties to her guest apparently ) but please take into account that some mums quite simply cant do it because of illness and other factors , they aren't being lazy they are just doing what is best for them. in my own case I wasn't producing enough for two pesky little blighters and the stress of that including the realisation that i'd given my life over into being what was technically a milking machine for the next however months 24 hours /7 days a week kind of swung it towards using formula for me in the end .
baby bullies aren't always  mums either. I had my other half lecturing me every time the boys caught a cold or got the sniffles that " we" should have breast fed for longer . yes that's right love cos its your massive man boobs they are chomping the hell out of isn't it as you get to leave the house to go out and have that social life I could only dream about now !
 my boys are 10 now , for that terrible sin I committed of not having them naturally and not breast feeding them with all those good things a mothers body can give they haven't done too badly.
they're polite , loving , they are in all the top classes at school and about to take an 11 plus exam that their teachers' expect them to fly through . I've even been told by complete strangers that my kids are a credit to me for being so well behaved so have that all you smug yummy mummies who let me believe I did it all wrong , I gave them the one thing that's really important in a child's life.
                                 love and if a child is loved does it matter who its mum or dad is ?
                                                                             P.S- Rod Stewart has 8 children by 5 women so go hassle him about being an appalling parent because Kate Winslet is small fry compared to him

Tescos remains stationery in THE SEX FACTOR.....

CHANCES  are if you're a twitter or facebook follower you can't have failed to  miss the uproar over this choice bit of greeting card hilarity.

The subject manner has angered some people so much that a petition has been set up asking the supermarket to withdraw the offending item from their shelves.

And as always we have people arguing in its defence that anyone who disagrees with it are, in the words of that great philosopher Steve Brookstein  first winner of The X Factor , a commie who wants to ban any kind of fun . A puritan straight from the days of Oliver Cromwell who thinks everything is sinful and that no-one is allowed to let their guard down and have a laugh.

But au contraire Mr Brookstein , I'm not against a bit of  fun it's just that I think maybe you and others should take a moment and realise that ' against all odds ' (X Factor fans, you see what i did there ) , some people do have a really good reason for being opposed to something .

So sexual harrasment is funny is it . Oh yes of course it is , in fact I bet its a laugh a minute for anyone who's experienced it .

When you dread going into work for fear of whats going to happen today I expect that it has you rolling on the floor with mirth . When the stress of  someone elses actions makes you ill you're creasing up in hysterical laughter . When the action of actually telling someone its going on might mark you out as the bad guy , the spoilsport who doesnt realise it's " just a bit of fun " that's blinkin' hilarious.

Try telling to the shy young girl in the bus queue with a man standing a little too close for comfort and who moves even closer every time she tries to move away.  You tell her it's just a bit of fun when rather than getting on his normal bus he gets onto the same one as her and she has to sit there in sheer terror, hoping he gets off before she does.

Say that to the girl fresh from her youth training scheme in her new job as stockroom assistant at a popular shoe shop of the time being given the responsibility of  bringing in the firms delivery from the company van. Say that to her when the others are all laughing and joking about " old bill " who doesn't let you have your stock unless you give him a kiss first and that she imagines that will just be a peck on the cheek so that its all just a bit harmless.

Then try telling her when she finds out that a kiss from him is a full on one on lips , a bit of a shock to the naïve  teenager who hasn't had that much experience of boys let alone kissing . Let her know shes just being a party pooper when over the coming months the peck on the lips from a man of over 60 then starts becomes a bit more than just that when he starts trying to put his tongue in her mouth but she doesnt want to make a fuss because ' hey its just bill, he's just being friendly'.

Yes tell her all this, but then let me tell her that after months of listening to funny grunting ' sex ' noises and having to squeeze past cages deliberately placed so she has slide past him , a fellow female member of staff notices she's trying to avoid going down to the basement alone on delivery days and asks " is it just me or is bill getting a bit too much ".

 The relief that she isn't the only one who isn't finding it funny anymore , that shes not the spoilsport  and silly ,frigid, virginal girl making a fuss about nothing is wiped away with those few words.

 

An older female member of staff will be told about how they feel and next delivery day she will go and speak to him and explain that they don't feel comfortable being around him anymore with the things he does . He will be apparently full of remorse and apologise profusely saying he hadn't meant to offend anyone he just thought that as everyone had gone along with it , it was ok .

He will send flowers and  letters to the girls in the following weeks explaining how sorry he is and hope that they can forgive him. He does retire a couple of months later and with any deliveries before then he will behave like a proper gentleman .

 Now I like to think Bill was just an old man who just didn't realise his actions were making people feel uncomfortable and that he learned a valuable lesson from that incident. But there are plenty of people ( and I don't just mean men here ) who wouldn't and anything that makes light of it just doesn't help to dispel the fact that its not right.

The girl wasn't too emotionally scarred by what happened but she does think the fact she is sometimes seen to visibly flinch if anyone she doesn't know very well tries to hug or kiss her may be down to that time in her life.

 

So please don't treat sexual harassment as some big joke Tesco's ,because for some people its just not funny anymore .

THE GREAT BRITISH SEWING ME ?

SOMETIMES THINGS ARE NOT WHAT THEY " SEAM "

A major fallacy has been going around about me for years

There's Nina , oh shes so arty , so crafty , she creates some really great stuff

and herein lies the untruth

Granted , I do like to make something my own with a few personal touches and my kids fancy dress outfits for school have been the stuff of legend at times but in reality I am not all that I "seam".

For that perfect seamstress and design maven everyone has me down as , she's a work of fiction ,a fraud. Someone who is able to convince you of brilliance with a sleight of hand so quick that you don't see the dropped stitches hanging in its wake.

While I would love to be that sort of person who can whip up a beautiful needlefelt robin to be kept for years to come or creating a patchwork quilt that can be kept and treasured as a family heirloom , my patience levels with anything vaguely intricate tends to put paid to any of that kind of pretentious frippery. And besides that Kirstie  Allsopp , she's a little bit on the annoying and patronising side isn't she ?......

With the aid of smoke and mirrors I have managed to convince people of seeing greatness in my creations but in reality if you look beneath the surface I am a major doyenne in the art of "yeah fuck it, that'll do ".

From handmade aprons for birthday presents that have caused stress of epic proportions to the set of new chair cushion covers for my brother that nearly broke me for life ,  if there's a way in which I can cut corners on professional finish , I'm in there like a shot.

The first notions of being not quite the crafty person I had myself down for came as a youngster after being taught to knit by my nanna then my mum , the look of frustration on their faces as I once again produced a piece of knitting so full of holes from dropped stitches it could've been used as a rope ladder was rivalled only by the one I used to get from my brother in the early 90s as he tried to teach me how to play the electric guitar. I can only assume the fact that I was his sister stopped him from slamming the instrument into my head like a member of the who !

School textiles lessons ought to have been another pinpointer on where my skills don't really lay. I can only imagine Mrs Allen , our textiles teacher must've locked herself in the materials cupboard sobbing  rocking back and forth after yet another lesson  of " miss, miss , I think I've broken the machine again miss "

To this day I bet she's never encountered another pupil who was able to take a simple rag doll pattern and muck it up so spectacularly that the end result was some club footed monstrosity that made the elephant man look like a male model ....And as for my attempt at a cushion , I'm quite surprised she didn't have a nervous breakdown after all those times it had to be cut from the machine with threads spooling out left and right.

So you'd think i'd have given up my crafting ventures with disasters such as these but no, I ploughed on trying and sometimes not quite getting it right .
I'm a dab hand at sewing on buttons , fixing hems and customising something off my own back but give me a pattern to follow and I start to hyperventilate. I'm a freestyle crafter if its not quite how it should look I'll do something to make it look right but I'm not going to waste my time sitting unpicking it and measuring and all that faffing about . I'm a trickster who will make you believe that the ancient greek outfits I've created for school have taken lots of time when all I've done is cut a few holes in a pillowcase and spray painted a few accessories gold.

In fact I can't understand how there are parents moaning about having to spend money on all the different theme days they have when I've managed to create various prize winning outfits from stuff I've had laying round the house . Who needs an expensive on line purchased outfit they are going to wear  a handful of times when you can produce loads of different things out of old clothing and household junk. From stuff I've had at home we've managed to produce kings , mummies , knights, pirates, snowmen, robins, harry hill and even a whoppee cushion. anything is possible with a little imagination !
I'm also a bit of a maverick on the clothes fixing side , I have over the years worked out that if something doesn't fit or suit my slightly over generous top half, a quick lop off of the collar and a cut in V neck does wonders for the fit of a garment . I've had my disasters there , the vintage dress that completely exploded down the front after too much pressure on a slightly dubious sewn  v neck from the heaving bosom underneath springs to mind but hey these things are sent to try us.
 Yes I could learn to do it properly but then where's the fun in that !

So what if  I'm no Vivienne Westwood and my tailoring skills would have Savile Row in fits. I love my cack handed attempts at craft and at least they will keep you all in stitches .

ALL THINGS BRIGHT AND POO-TIFUL

IRRESPONSIBLE DOG OWNERS - A MESS-AGE TO YOU

MONDAY morning 8.30 , you're on the school run and wondering why the person in front of you is doing the Ministry of Silly Walks.

But no , the world hasn’t suddenly gone ” Pythonesque ” it’s just that although we should be admiring the beautiful colours of spring they’ve just fallen foul of a pavement that's 50 shades of brown.

For while the majority of dog owners are responsible there are still a few who lack the basic etiquette in picking up after their pooch even when provided with one of over 700 dog litter bins in Medway.

If you recall, we were encouraged to start scooping the poop in 1996 when the Dog Fouling Act first came into place. The reason behind it being that scientists had discovered that dog/cat faeces had been found to contain the roundworm parasite which can cause Toxocariasis. An infection which if caught by humans could cause headaches, nausea, stomach pains and serious eye disorders that can last for 6-24 months. Just one single dog poo can contain up to at least 1 million microscopic roundworm eggs and these in turn can live for up to 2 years in soil which makes it one of the biggest carriers of the parasite as the poo degrades into it. For humans to contract Toxocariasis they have to come into contact with and ingest infected soil/sand such as that in kids play areas but it can be caught through direct contact with dogs/cats or inanimate objects as well such as shoe soles and pram/buggy wheels. So remember kids when mum tells you to wash your hands and wipe your feet , she's got a good reason for it !

kb.keepbritaintidy.org/dogs/publications/guidedog.pdf 

So that description of the consequences of not picking up after your animal should be enough to turn the stomach of even the hardiest of irresponsible dog owners and make them change their ways but sadly that's not the case.

I mean maybe I was a Womble in a former life but when one of my sons (as a toddler I hasten to add !) decided to crouch down on a packed beach in Broadstairs and take a massive dump on the edge of the seashore my first thought was to grab something to clear it up. So what is the problem with these people who feel that it's not their responsibility to pick up after their " little darlings". 

 On a short walk to the shops recently I lost count of the amount of times I had to shout ' look out ' to make sure my boys didn't step in various piles of faeces en route.
Some are just mere yards apart as if the dog and owner are laying a trail to find their way back home in a bizarre ' Hansel and Gretel ' parody.

And then of course we also have the 'part time' responsible dog owner , yeah you know who I'm talking about. The ones who think they are being good because they've bagged it up but when there's no bin in sight chuck it on the ground or even worse up in a tree or bush like some twisted and macabre Christmas decoration.

 In the freezing temperatures we've been having recently you'd think they'd appreciate having something warm in their pockets till they can dispose of it but hey ho......
(Incidentally after taking the photo above I turned round to walk away and stuck my size five boot straight into a big pile of the offending stuff we are talking about. The irony of the situation was not lost on me although my sense of humour did take leave for a few seconds!)

A common line you hear from the non picker uppers is that they didn't have a bag on them . That's a bit lame if you ask me, there are a couple of reasons you take your dog out for a walk, one is exercise and the other ? Well ,that's the thing you need the bag for, it's a bit of  a no brainer really. It doesn't have to be a fancy doggy poo bag ,baby nappy sacks, sandwich bags or a normal carrier will do the job just as well ( although you might want to look out for the holes in supermarket bags ! ). And seeing as you can also pick up bags from libraries and other community hubs you've really got no reason to not have one about your person.

Next up  " there was no bin for me to put it in " . Granted , at times there is some distance between you and the next dog litter receptacle but the fact is you can actually put your dog poo in a normal bin as long as its been securely bagged up so that's that argument out the window too.

You could feign ignorance of any law that says you should pick up their poop but unless you're blind ( a possible side effect of toxocariasis as it happens , that'll teach you not to clean up after your dog ! ) you can't fail to notice the bright yellow signs applied to many a lamp-post ( we could possibly be stereotyping where dogs like to hang out here but I digress ). They warn you that there is a fixed penalty of £80 to pay for letting your dog foul here and that can increase to a maximum of £1000 if you are found to be persistently offending the pavement with your dogs business.

Medway Council try to do their bit to keep the streets clean with regular patrols from community /plain clothes officers and a machine dedicated to picking up mess from green land areas such as parks and fields. However they can only take action when one of their officers actually witnesses someone failing to pick up their dog litter. They will always give a fine when they can and we can give them a helping hand in identifying the culprits. If you observe anyone letting their dog foul the pavement regularly you can report them to their LOVE MEDWAY PAGE . Note down details of the offender and their animal and let them know at this link. -http://www.medway.gov.uk/environmentandplanning/wastemanagement/lovemedway.aspx .
There's a chance if you tell someone to pick up their canines poo that you might get a mouthful of abuse but I doubt they'd be quite so vocal if confronted by a member of the police. 3 fixed penalty rates have been issued between 2012 -2013 if we all start being a bit more vigilant maybe we could make that rate a bit higher.

 Something else that I think would definitely make these inconsiderate dog owners sit up and take notice is if they realised that through their own selfishness they are adding to the amount of taxes they are having to pay. With the counties total bill for clearing up litter ( including graffiti and dog mess )coming in at approximately 15 million for the past year they'd soon have something to say if they realised their hard earned ( or not as the case may be )cash was being frittered away on someone else having to pick up something they could do themselves for free .

In perspective the amount of cash being spent on it could be put towards training 700 N.H.S nurses or fixing 300,000 potholes in our roads.

It's something to think about isn't it ?

And if that's not enough let me finish with this

In the area where I live there is a man who walks his dog regularly everyday despite having lost both his legs and being confined to a wheelchair . He without fail also makes sure that if his dog does its business on that walk that it's cleared up and disposed of in the correct way even if it does take a bit of major operation for him to achieve this .

So to those of you who do continue to flout your responsibility, I hope you're ashamed of yourselves , he's a credit to us all .

ITS ALL ABOUT THE PRESENTATION NOT THE SIZE , MR STONE

                HELLO BOYS AND BYE BYE BOTTLE

IT seems apt that during Women's History Month something should occur in Medway and highlight why the female of the species are a force to be reckoned with.
You may recall my disdain in a previous post about an event at Rochester's Casino Rooms - the notorious ' National Cleavage Weekender ' and how I was convinced I'd been transported through a worm hole in the time/ space continuum to a parallel universe where Women's Lib had never happened.

Well dear reader it seems I wasn't the only one who thought that the whole thing  was a bit out-dated and more than just a "cheeky bit of fun " because on 22nd March 2013 the outcry over cleavage weekender did just what just what it says on the poster and went " national "

With a little bit of help from the writer of the original Medwire article( Michelle Gleaves ) , a Labour M.P ( Vince Maple ) and a certain adult education student ( guess who ? ) the Medway Messenger went live with their own piece on the event and it exploded through the social media and news stratosphere.  You can read their article here  http://t.co/iXY7Dbbcba

Picked up by amongst others the Mail, the Sun, ITV , the Huffington Post and making the BBC South East 10pm broadcast it swept across the country. It was even tweeted about by M.P Dianne Abbott in relation to the hash tag #Everyday Sexism .

Reaction fell into either one of two camps , those who thought it was just a light hearted bit of fun and that we were all getting our knickers ( and bra's ) in a twist about nothing or those who thought it was something worth shouting about .
 With condemnation for the night starting to build on Friday a message appeared on the Casino Rooms Facebook page that evening stating that  " as before we will be donating £1 towards the Breast Cancer U.K charity for every free entry ".  An odd turn of phrase that considering there is no mention of it on the poster which you would imagine would have made it an all the more popular night knowing it was going to a good cause ,do you not think ?

Also in a bid to make it sound a bit less sexist they joked of course  it was also open to men flashing their moobs or pecs , really cos you've missed putting some male cleavage on your poster , guys and again there's absolutely no mention of it ! Funny that ! It all reeks a little of trying to paper over some serious cracks at the last minute. 

Talking of the poster by the way ,there is a little something on the first one that has suspiciously gone A.W.O.L on the new one.
                                                      Can you spot the difference ?

Yes that's right, that Smirnoff ice bottle and logo that is so prevalent in the original poster has disappeared and why I hear you ask ? Well that's down to our good friend Cllr Maple who wrote to the firm Diageo who owns the brand and asked them if they were aware that their product was being used to promote such a night.

The reply from their head of government affairs Rachael Robertson was that of the negative and was quoted to have said  "I can confirm that Diageo in no way gave permission for our branding to be included and never would for such an irresponsible promotion. This would breach our rigorous internal codes on marketing and had approval been sought it would have been denied." she further added "We take our responsibility in marketing very seriously and would never want to be associated in any way with a promotion as irresponsible as this."

So it was bye bye bottle to National Cleavage Weekender.

 

Not that I imagine the Casino are too bothered there must be plenty of other drinks firms all too willing to get their drinks promoted in the future and as a good few people have pointed out alcohol does a lot more harm than a pair of boobs ever could.

 

So, from one little online news article a behemoth did grow showing that while lad culture might be on the rise some ladies aren't about to start letting them get away with it.

 

 And just for the record,while some of us girls have an opinion on what's right or what's not doesn't mean we're no fun.

To answer a few of my critics this week I'm not the worm that turned and I'm certainly no Mary Whitehouse but think about how your presenting this to the youngsters of today.

 A certain person commented on the Casino page that people like Michelle Gleaves and myself should ' unstitch our vaginas ' and realise that theme nights like this aren't ever that popular, that they are just to get people through the door and if we worked in a night club background we'd know that .

 

 This may be true but having worked in a night club myself I know that all to often these days girls ( and lets face it despite what the clubs might say about their over 18 policy that's just what some of these females are ) take 'theme ' and fancy dress to mean go out in a bra , thong and tutu as the ' sexy ' version of whatever the night is all about. Programmes like BBC 3's snog, marry, avoid all to often feature girls who think its the norm to have to dress this way to get people to love them and still don't believe that perhaps if they were just themselves and not a scary porn style caricature the one person who needs to love them ( I.E themselves )might be much happier.

To finish ,Breast Cancer is a serious disease and needs to be taught some respect , if the poster had featured a few less ' glamour model ' fake boobs and carried the charity logo there might never have been all this kerfuffle in the first place.

 

In fact Mr Stone , if you had thought  a little more about your presentation and less about the size ( of the crowd ) maybe it wouldn't have caused such a controversy about town .

 

( But I'm pretty sure you're glad it did )

 

 

 

 

 

TO TIMIDITY AND BEYOND .......

IMAGINE being so scared of having to speak to anyone that you'd rather wet your pants than have to open your mouth and ask to go to the toilet .
It probably sounds a bit silly to some people but that was me aged 5 so crippled by shyness that I would rather stand in a puddle of my own pee than tell the teacher I really needed to visit the lavatory.
I don't know what caused me to become so introverted and timid upon joining the education system but whatever it was brought me to the decision at that tender age not speak to anyone else apart from my family in a register barely above a whisper for the next 2 years.
It's not as if I was always a quiet child, my parents will often regale me with the tales of when  I ' the little madam ' would boss my older brother about when we were small. But there was always something about interacting with people who weren't part of my immediate family that terrified me beyond belief .
Various family members who we didn't see that much would often get yes /no answers before I sat in the corner eyeing them suspiciously if they came to visit. To this day I still feel bad that whenever I heard that a certain aunt was coming I would deliberately hide away upstairs from her until she went because her deep voice and loud laugh gave me the heebie jeebies.
And if this was the way I behaved to people I was related to then it doesn't take much to work out that if there was no family connection you'd stand no chance.
One of my favourite trick's on finding that any of my parents friends were coming round to the house was to pretend to be asleep so I wouldn't have to talk to them . In fact I would 'take a nap' so often I'm surprised I was never taken to the doctors to be diagnosed with narcolepsy.
I carried on in this vein for the next 2 years until one kindly old teacher took me aside while reading in a separate room one day and said " let me hear your big voice , no one needs to know about it if you don't want them to ". The " big " voice wasn't much louder than the whisper I had been using for the past couple of years but it was a start and at least now people could ( almost ) hear what I was saying.
Junior school was a bit daunting for someone who was as quiet as me but my advanced reading skills ( well, what do you think I was doing while I was hiding away from people in my bedroom ? ) meant I got on well in lessons . However the downside of this would be in the instance of ' you've read/written that well , why don't you read that out to the rest of the class? Now I don't know about the rest of you but standing in front of 30 expectant faces is daunting enough to someone who is confident in themselves but if you're a shy person you might as well be standing in front of a firing squad for all the sheer panic that's going through your mind at that particular moment . And heaven forbid the suggestion ' Why don't you read it out in assembly? ' should come up...... Someone get the school nurse, I think we might need to call an ambulance !
 I've found over the years that there is a bit of a stigma towards being shy , most confident loud people don't tend to understand that  repeatedly  saying things like" speak up " , " I cant hear you " ," speak louder "  doesn't actually help the timid person very much , in fact it tends to make them want to withdraw from the situation even more. In my case I would get so nervous about saying anything at all that I would rehearse it in my head over and over before even daring to utter it by which time I'd be so wound up with terror that it would stutter out of my mouth like a bad Bruce Forsyth impression. People also tend to think your being a bit rude if your not talking to them but they don't realise that your so terrified of speaking that its all your mind can think about let alone come up with that great conversation opener to break the ice.
 Leaving school at 16 having let my shyness hold me back from exploring any kind of higher education , I was thrust into the world of work where I could make a new start. People didn't know what I'd always been like and lets face it, in the world of retail you can't not talk . I still wasn't a big one for conversation but I did enough to get me through each working day.
A big turning point came in my discovery of a nightclub that played the music I liked to listen to.  At school to try and fit in I'd always gone along with what everyone else would say was cool whilst secretly loving to listen to my mum and dads old records and admiring the 6th formers who dared to dress differently from the pack, listening to the smiths , the cure and other alternative stuff .I'd been experimental on some non uniform days at school and it hadn't always gone down well ( black and red checked woollen trousers when everyone else was wearing stuff like 'I should be so lucky 'era Kylie is a particular one that sticks in the mind )but now those people weren't around to tell me I looked stupid. I started buying old stuff from charity shops and creating a whole new look for myself . With each new look I could become a new character , I was Nina ' the greatest dancer at subsonic' ( ok, I might be exaggerating slightly on that one! ), ' 60s mod girl straight out of Carnarby street or my particular favourite 'the female Jarvis cocker complete with powder blue 70s flared trouser suit and massive blonde afro wig. I might not have been the most talkative person around anyone else but my closest friends but with this new found confidence I did start to bloom a bit more than I had in years .
The biggest breakthrough though was after I had my twins in 2002 whereas before I'd had no-one to protect but myself I now had two little fella's that depended on me even more . After a shaky few years where post natal depression , sleepless nights and the dawning realisation that my life wasn't my own anymore a new person started to emerge . the one who'd let people tell her she wasn't doing things right for her beautiful boys suddenly started answering her critic's back instead of bursting into tears. She didn't take any crap anymore and stood her ground on what she believed was right instead of cowering away from the situation. In fact the change was so noticeable that friends and family started to comment on it . I decided to use it to my advantage . I started going out to the new local indie club on my own and made lots of new friends  through just  talking to people ( previously unheard of in the world of Nina ) and eventually from this gallivanting about D.J DEE VINYL was born. A confident vintage clothing clad whirling dervish of a woman who with her partner in crime the glorious Miss Hayley Rocks decided to take over the world of the solemn male indie D.J and show them a thing or two about looking good on the dance-floor. And the rest so the cliché says is history, Dee Vinyl has a little bit of a confidence crisis around about 2011 that culminates in a major change of course in what she wants to do when she eventually grows up ( which might happen sometime soon but I shouldn't hold your breath ! ) but it sorts itself out towards the end of 2012 when she finds her true talent. (And that's a whole other blog post so I digress.)
So I  finally found my voice with a little help from my two favourite men in the world plus music and clothing .It's not to say I don't have the odd moment when I turn back into shy girl , I still  hate having to use the phone knowing that the minute someone answers it I am likely to start doing that fateful stuttering Brucie impersonation but I learned to turn my fear into something productive and with fellow former shyness sufferers as this

David Bowie.
Bob Dylan.
Joan Rivers.
Cher.
Barbara Streisand.
Lady Gaga.
Elvis Presley.
Abraham Lincoln.
Albert Einstein.
i think the timid and quiet should set their sights "shy " high .