SOMETIMES ITS THE THINGS THAT ARE SAID THAT CUT DEEP INSIDE ......

WITH Nigella and husband splashed all over the front pages its hard to avoid the subject of domestic abuse .We all gasped in horror at the sight of him clutching her by the throat and derided him when he dismissed it as " just a playful tiff ". He may now have accepted the charge of assaulting her but has this taught him that it is not an acceptable way to treat the one you love.
They alone only know what happened that day in the restaurant but so often what we do see can be just a hint of what we don't see.
Sometimes that which is visible isn't the main problem. It's not always the broken limbs and bruises that cause the pain but the things that are said that cut deep inside.

Domestic abuse isn't always something you can see.

Mental abuse is a silent stalker , a ninja that creeps up on you when you least expect it and plants itself so carefully in your psyche that often you don't notice its happening until its too late.

Take a friend of mine ,for instance , she'd been seeing someone for a couple of weeks that she really liked, others had warned her off him because there was quite an age gap but she ignored that because he made her feel special. He'd tell her how lovely she was, compliment her on how she looked and generally revel in the fact his missus was young and beautiful.

Gifts were lavished on her and no expense was spared for his favourite girl as he wined and dined her to show how much he loved her

Except one day she wasn't his favourite girl anymore. A couple of months into the relationship the good food and drink had started to take its inevitable toll on her waistline and being chauffeured everywhere by her own personal driver didn't help either.
What had been compliments of " you look sexy in that " started to become " eurgh , you look gross " and much worse. The comments that had once lifted her spirits high in the air were now sending her on a crash course with the ground. The more she heard of how awful she was , the more she started to believe that it was true ,that she truly was so disgusting that she was lucky to have found him because no-one else would want her. And it wasn't just her body image he started to destroy , soon he found that  chipping away at her mind had an equally pleasing effect and he wasn't going to stop until she knew where she belonged.in other words , rock bottom

She couldn't do anything right as far as he was concerned and if it wasn't done to his high standards there was no point in bothering at all. At every opportunity he would criticize how she did things and compare her to others saying that she'd never make anything of herself because she was so pathetic. Her hair colour or style ( "if you loved me you'd wear your hair long , curly and blonde" )were never right for him and as for her clothes he'd seen homeless people dressed better.
He had cunningly seen off the few friends and pleasures she did have by branding them ridiculous and stupid and he would have soon started on her family if she hadn't have found the back bone one day to warn him off .
Tired of being branded a clown and useless she got her own back as he sat typing a letter of complaint one afternoon  to someone about something stupid she had caused , she quietly left the house and started walking ....

She walked for miles and miles until she came across a phone box and called the only person she knew could help and her dad drove and picked her up and took her back to the bosom of the family she knew would protect her no matter what.

Now we'd all like to think that happy ending finishes there but things don't always go the way we plan.

The former Mr Wonderful being the great charmer that he was soon managed to weedle his way back into her life, he promised to change ( surprise , surprise ) and pretty soon she was back under his spell. She joined a slimming club and they were back as they had been before.

The icing on the cake was when she found out she was expecting after struggling to conceive for two years ( her fault obviously because as he liked to point out he already had a child from a previous relationship) and they set about getting ready for the new arrival. The odd comment had been made about her burgeoning weight gain but she brushed it aside not wishing to dwell on it.

A difficult birth when the time came meant a lot of bed rest and steroids left her looking like Geoff capes twin sister but soon she was home trying to settle into motherhood with differing levels of success.
And all too soon the same old things started to raise their ugly heads again and this time there were new criticisms  " you shouldn't have had kids if you cant look after them " , " don't do it like that " , you're doing it wrong ". Six weeks after the birth she was handed herbal slimming tablets by him as a "present " because she needed to start thinking about getting back  in shape now if she wanted him to still find her attractive (before conceiving she had been told that she was only allowed to get pregnant if she didn't " become grotesque again " afterwards) she took one and was so scared by the spaced out feeling she experienced she promptly chucked the rest away.
The child's restlessness at bedtime didn't help matters as she tried in vain to get him to sleep in his own bed and not howl all night. as her man had to work she was up most of the night and the tiredness made for tears and rows constantly. one particular night junior could not be settled and his father stormed into the room and shouted " I'll give him something to cry about" and reached out to smack the baby across the legs .
Mothering instinct kicking in she saw red and lashed out to protect her child , her small frame compared to his towering bulk was no contest but she reigned the blows onto his weak spots as only someone trying to protect you could. He traded some blows back but she could see he was shocked at the change in her .
No more did she burst into tears when he backed her into corners when they fought , no more did she cower away from him in fights , she had found her strength and no pocket full of kryptonite was going to take the powers away from her again .

The comments still kept coming of how awful she was but now she swept them aside and believed in herself not in what he had to say , she started to achieve stuff and he suddenly became aware that he was the weak one who didn't have the upper hand anymore.

Her life isn't perfect and occasionally she still has a little wobble on the self confidence front with regards to what she's doing or how she looks but she's getting better at believing in herself and how brilliant she is. Its taken a long time but she finally knows she is capable of anything and no-ones going to tell her what to do with her life anymore. and if they do she shouts them down like a foghorn !

So look out for those who you think aren't being treated right by those who claim to love them , yours might be the helping hand they need .

Daddy's girl

Dear Dad ,

               Up on one of  my shelves at home is a book . I don't intend on reading again anytime soon but despite this it stays there on that shelf and never gets contemplated as something to go in the sack destined for the charity shop.

A biography of snooker player Stephen Hendry , its a subject I have no interest in anymore like I did when I had a passing fancy for him at about the age of 13 but I'll never throw away for simply one reason  , you bought it for me.

There it was one Christmas years ago , something you'd gone out and bought just for me because you knew I'd like it . It wasn't a regular occurrence in our house usually mum was the sole xmas present buyer and you were glad to let her get on with it but here it was a special present labelled up " To Nina love from dad " . You'd even taken me to see the man himself play an exhibition match a couple of months earlier at the Woodville halls in Gravesend , it might not seem like much to others reading this now but at the time I was delighted ( he was actually really friendly and charming at the meet and greet afterwards despite his media image that portrayed him as a bit grumpy )and the book took pride of place in my bedroom bookcase.

As the years passed by the fancy for him faded just like the one I'd had for Phillip Schofield and Morten from A-ha  previously ( although I have to admit pip is a bit of a silver fox these days , sorry pre menopausal hormones kicking in there and don't get me started on chris packham, cor i'd still go " really wild" for him  now ! ) and the reality of real boyfriends not imaginary ones started to kick the teenage hormones raging around my body into gear.

Quite luckily for you I was a bit of a late starter on the boys front , I didn't have my first proper boyfriend till I was in my late teens and when I did bring my first one home I saw you take stock of his long Goth rocker curly hair and I'm pretty sure the fact he wore more make up than me and nail varnish wasn't lost on you but you were still polite to him because he was with me . He did turn out to be a total wally in the end but you never said I told you so just let me do what I thought I needed to do to try and find my way along in life . I was aware that you called him " the yeti " in true dad from citizen smith style behind his back but looking back he did deserve it , he was a truly pretentious bad poetry writing twat !As if to show your appreciation that  I'd finally come to my senses every other person who I went out with after that was gifted with the observation " are you sure he's here for you he's a bit ......normal looking ".

We never really fell out over boys , so what did we fall out over , oh yes lets start with my clothing , a major headache that was between us but unlike other father/ daughters ours was never of the " youre not going out dressed like that " variety . no , ours were of the " are you really going to wear that out " kind . I'd always been your little girly girl as a youngster but as I grew up into a moody teenager in the early 90s the advent of grunge fashion and a desire to cut my hair short had you going mad that I wasn't making the best of myself and that I was never going to get a man dressed like that . My grandma , your mum even hinted one day after I'd had a particularly short haircut that maybe I batted for the other team , which while I did indeed have a massive girl crush on drew Barrymore was totally not who I was (I would totally still do drew though ). I still remember one Christmas day you refused to take me round to see the grandparents if I insisted on wearing my biker jacket and jeans.....

Which leads me into that common misconception lots of people have about you , my dad through other peoples eyes is the most easy going man ever , doesn't let anyone get him down , its the same with a lot of  dads I reckon but lets face it kids there's always that one moment when you know its all going to kick off and its best to get as far away as possible  . In our house it was called " throwing a wobbler " and you were famous for yours . You would go from nice amiable chap to the incredible hulk within a matter of seconds , this wouldn't be just a normal paddy this would be a full on freak out with special effects. these were sometimes brought on by you having bottled something bothering you up and then letting of steam but more often than not the common cause would be something to do with d.i.y. The story of how you lost your rag trying to get something level and knocked down the bannister with a hammer in your rage became the stuff of legend in our house and lets of course not for get the time you got a bit cross with us not putting our shoes away and kicked mums WOODEN clogs straight through the glass of the front door ( which got repaired after a couple of months only for you to do it again a few weeks later !).  I can now see where my total lack of patience with anything vaguely difficult or intricate comes from , in fact I know that my threatening the computer with a bunch of fives when it wont do what I want it to is my page family inheritance right there .

I know there are some people who don't get on with their fathers and believe me I know we haven't always  got on at times .

Be it the time I fell all the way down the stairs and instead of asking if I was ok you told me off for swearing loudly as I landed in a heap at the bottom or those times when you really didn't get why there wasn't time for you to take a shower before I had to be somewhere in the next 20 minutes. but underneath all the little niggles and foibles we have there has always been a lot of love there.

What person would have got up and driven to pick his kids up from a nightclub at 2 in the morning cos they couldn't get a cab or picked them up from that disastrous date where your beau had drunk so much he'd passed out snoring in a packed pub.

What other man would come out and pick his daughter up as she rang to say she'd walked out on her other  half after he'd flown into a massive rage over something trivial and called her pathetic yet again to the point where she was starting to believe it.

what man would then tell her that if he doesn't like the way that other man speaks to you and will knock his block off if he does it in front of him ever again

and what man will tell the girl who thinks she's made an almighty cock up of being a parent that actually she's one of the best mums ever.

 

as Frenchie says in Grease

 

 

and in my family I guess that's true

 

Happy fathers day dad

 

love Nina xxx

 

HEAT – It ain’t half rot ,mum

 

I can’t deny that Heat magazine is a popular publication with readership stats that at its peak have topped 700,000 but having bought a copy for the first time this week it’s not difficult to see why its average weekly sale has started to lose steam  (Weekly sales are reported to have fallen to 261,715).

From beginning to end it has a tendency to come across like that bitchy group of girls we all knew at school. You know the ones, slagging you off behind the bike sheds as they have a fag because you’ve put on a bit of weight and your clothes aren’t right. The next minute they’re your best mate giving you a makeover and saying how fabulous you look because you’ve embarked on a fitness regime that’s slimmed you down into “ one of them”. And all the while they are bitching about you behind your back hoping you’re not about to run off with their boyfriend.

Editor in chief Lucie Cave was quoted in the Guardian as saying that the magazine is supposed to be “ cheeky and fun not mean “ but in my opinion it all just comes across as a bit vacuous and vacant. Something it has in common with some of the celebs featured inside its hallowed pages.

In short it’s the print equivalent of the cast of The Only Way is Essex.

MUMS-NOT

Dear Mums of Mumsnet ,

                         I don't know if you've read the aim on the about us  page of your favourite website but just to refresh your memories or for those of you who are too busy puréeing mung beans and alfalfa up for little merlin as he sleeps in his fully biodegradable non toxic cot I'll help you out .
       
  Make parents' lives easier by pooling knowledge, advice and support

you see that do you that word at the end that means so much to lots of parents who might struggle a bit from time to time with what junior and siblings might throw at them. you  know that parenthood isn't always a rosy hued Cath Kidston existence all the time do you. you are aware that even though some of us try our best with to keep our adult relationships on track , sometimes the arrival of third , fourth or even fifth member of your gang might be the thing that breaks you for good. 
         you do , ok then maybe you should stop putting down those that don't quite always fit into your happy middle class image of mummies and daddies mould because regardless of whether that person is a Hollywood star or not , they are still a mum/dad who loves their child just as much as you do . is it really so " appalling " that someone might want to have kids with the person she really believes is the right one this time. is your life so wipe clean and perfect that any hint of imperfection is eradicated with multi surface sanitizer spray and bleach.
                                           support is one of the greatest things you can give a woman from the day she starts carrying but all too often some of us leave behind the school bullies only to find ourselves caught in the clutch of the mummy mafia.
              The bullying starts from day one, you must have a natural birth or you have failed the mummy test without passing go . well a massive fit brought on preeclampsia , trying to walk through a bed cos my brain was so addled with toxins my body was slowly poisoning my body with and being technically dead for two minutes on the operating table put paid to my natural birth so I suppose I should have got the doctor to write needs to try harder on my medical report before I went home.
               rule number two of mummy mafia is of course BREAST IS BEST , you must breast feed to not do it means you are the lowest of the low and you're depriving your child of growing up into a future president/brain surgeon in fact it should be classed as child abuse if you don't do it - granted yes breast milk is the best stuff (ask Myleene Klass , she serves it up at dinner parties to her guest apparently ) but please take into account that some mums quite simply cant do it because of illness and other factors , they aren't being lazy they are just doing what is best for them. in my own case I wasn't producing enough for two pesky little blighters and the stress of that including the realisation that i'd given my life over into being what was technically a milking machine for the next however months 24 hours /7 days a week kind of swung it towards using formula for me in the end .
baby bullies aren't always  mums either. I had my other half lecturing me every time the boys caught a cold or got the sniffles that " we" should have breast fed for longer . yes that's right love cos its your massive man boobs they are chomping the hell out of isn't it as you get to leave the house to go out and have that social life I could only dream about now !
 my boys are 10 now , for that terrible sin I committed of not having them naturally and not breast feeding them with all those good things a mothers body can give they haven't done too badly.
they're polite , loving , they are in all the top classes at school and about to take an 11 plus exam that their teachers' expect them to fly through . I've even been told by complete strangers that my kids are a credit to me for being so well behaved so have that all you smug yummy mummies who let me believe I did it all wrong , I gave them the one thing that's really important in a child's life.
                                 love and if a child is loved does it matter who its mum or dad is ?
                                                                             P.S- Rod Stewart has 8 children by 5 women so go hassle him about being an appalling parent because Kate Winslet is small fry compared to him

Tescos remains stationery in THE SEX FACTOR.....

CHANCES  are if you're a twitter or facebook follower you can't have failed to  miss the uproar over this choice bit of greeting card hilarity.

The subject manner has angered some people so much that a petition has been set up asking the supermarket to withdraw the offending item from their shelves.

And as always we have people arguing in its defence that anyone who disagrees with it are, in the words of that great philosopher Steve Brookstein  first winner of The X Factor , a commie who wants to ban any kind of fun . A puritan straight from the days of Oliver Cromwell who thinks everything is sinful and that no-one is allowed to let their guard down and have a laugh.

But au contraire Mr Brookstein , I'm not against a bit of  fun it's just that I think maybe you and others should take a moment and realise that ' against all odds ' (X Factor fans, you see what i did there ) , some people do have a really good reason for being opposed to something .

So sexual harrasment is funny is it . Oh yes of course it is , in fact I bet its a laugh a minute for anyone who's experienced it .

When you dread going into work for fear of whats going to happen today I expect that it has you rolling on the floor with mirth . When the stress of  someone elses actions makes you ill you're creasing up in hysterical laughter . When the action of actually telling someone its going on might mark you out as the bad guy , the spoilsport who doesnt realise it's " just a bit of fun " that's blinkin' hilarious.

Try telling to the shy young girl in the bus queue with a man standing a little too close for comfort and who moves even closer every time she tries to move away.  You tell her it's just a bit of fun when rather than getting on his normal bus he gets onto the same one as her and she has to sit there in sheer terror, hoping he gets off before she does.

Say that to the girl fresh from her youth training scheme in her new job as stockroom assistant at a popular shoe shop of the time being given the responsibility of  bringing in the firms delivery from the company van. Say that to her when the others are all laughing and joking about " old bill " who doesn't let you have your stock unless you give him a kiss first and that she imagines that will just be a peck on the cheek so that its all just a bit harmless.

Then try telling her when she finds out that a kiss from him is a full on one on lips , a bit of a shock to the naïve  teenager who hasn't had that much experience of boys let alone kissing . Let her know shes just being a party pooper when over the coming months the peck on the lips from a man of over 60 then starts becomes a bit more than just that when he starts trying to put his tongue in her mouth but she doesnt want to make a fuss because ' hey its just bill, he's just being friendly'.

Yes tell her all this, but then let me tell her that after months of listening to funny grunting ' sex ' noises and having to squeeze past cages deliberately placed so she has slide past him , a fellow female member of staff notices she's trying to avoid going down to the basement alone on delivery days and asks " is it just me or is bill getting a bit too much ".

 The relief that she isn't the only one who isn't finding it funny anymore , that shes not the spoilsport  and silly ,frigid, virginal girl making a fuss about nothing is wiped away with those few words.

 

An older female member of staff will be told about how they feel and next delivery day she will go and speak to him and explain that they don't feel comfortable being around him anymore with the things he does . He will be apparently full of remorse and apologise profusely saying he hadn't meant to offend anyone he just thought that as everyone had gone along with it , it was ok .

He will send flowers and  letters to the girls in the following weeks explaining how sorry he is and hope that they can forgive him. He does retire a couple of months later and with any deliveries before then he will behave like a proper gentleman .

 Now I like to think Bill was just an old man who just didn't realise his actions were making people feel uncomfortable and that he learned a valuable lesson from that incident. But there are plenty of people ( and I don't just mean men here ) who wouldn't and anything that makes light of it just doesn't help to dispel the fact that its not right.

The girl wasn't too emotionally scarred by what happened but she does think the fact she is sometimes seen to visibly flinch if anyone she doesn't know very well tries to hug or kiss her may be down to that time in her life.

 

So please don't treat sexual harassment as some big joke Tesco's ,because for some people its just not funny anymore .

THE GREAT BRITISH SEWING ME ?

SOMETIMES THINGS ARE NOT WHAT THEY " SEAM "

A major fallacy has been going around about me for years

There's Nina , oh shes so arty , so crafty , she creates some really great stuff

and herein lies the untruth

Granted , I do like to make something my own with a few personal touches and my kids fancy dress outfits for school have been the stuff of legend at times but in reality I am not all that I "seam".

For that perfect seamstress and design maven everyone has me down as , she's a work of fiction ,a fraud. Someone who is able to convince you of brilliance with a sleight of hand so quick that you don't see the dropped stitches hanging in its wake.

While I would love to be that sort of person who can whip up a beautiful needlefelt robin to be kept for years to come or creating a patchwork quilt that can be kept and treasured as a family heirloom , my patience levels with anything vaguely intricate tends to put paid to any of that kind of pretentious frippery. And besides that Kirstie  Allsopp , she's a little bit on the annoying and patronising side isn't she ?......

With the aid of smoke and mirrors I have managed to convince people of seeing greatness in my creations but in reality if you look beneath the surface I am a major doyenne in the art of "yeah fuck it, that'll do ".

From handmade aprons for birthday presents that have caused stress of epic proportions to the set of new chair cushion covers for my brother that nearly broke me for life ,  if there's a way in which I can cut corners on professional finish , I'm in there like a shot.

The first notions of being not quite the crafty person I had myself down for came as a youngster after being taught to knit by my nanna then my mum , the look of frustration on their faces as I once again produced a piece of knitting so full of holes from dropped stitches it could've been used as a rope ladder was rivalled only by the one I used to get from my brother in the early 90s as he tried to teach me how to play the electric guitar. I can only assume the fact that I was his sister stopped him from slamming the instrument into my head like a member of the who !

School textiles lessons ought to have been another pinpointer on where my skills don't really lay. I can only imagine Mrs Allen , our textiles teacher must've locked herself in the materials cupboard sobbing  rocking back and forth after yet another lesson  of " miss, miss , I think I've broken the machine again miss "

To this day I bet she's never encountered another pupil who was able to take a simple rag doll pattern and muck it up so spectacularly that the end result was some club footed monstrosity that made the elephant man look like a male model ....And as for my attempt at a cushion , I'm quite surprised she didn't have a nervous breakdown after all those times it had to be cut from the machine with threads spooling out left and right.

So you'd think i'd have given up my crafting ventures with disasters such as these but no, I ploughed on trying and sometimes not quite getting it right .
I'm a dab hand at sewing on buttons , fixing hems and customising something off my own back but give me a pattern to follow and I start to hyperventilate. I'm a freestyle crafter if its not quite how it should look I'll do something to make it look right but I'm not going to waste my time sitting unpicking it and measuring and all that faffing about . I'm a trickster who will make you believe that the ancient greek outfits I've created for school have taken lots of time when all I've done is cut a few holes in a pillowcase and spray painted a few accessories gold.

In fact I can't understand how there are parents moaning about having to spend money on all the different theme days they have when I've managed to create various prize winning outfits from stuff I've had laying round the house . Who needs an expensive on line purchased outfit they are going to wear  a handful of times when you can produce loads of different things out of old clothing and household junk. From stuff I've had at home we've managed to produce kings , mummies , knights, pirates, snowmen, robins, harry hill and even a whoppee cushion. anything is possible with a little imagination !
I'm also a bit of a maverick on the clothes fixing side , I have over the years worked out that if something doesn't fit or suit my slightly over generous top half, a quick lop off of the collar and a cut in V neck does wonders for the fit of a garment . I've had my disasters there , the vintage dress that completely exploded down the front after too much pressure on a slightly dubious sewn  v neck from the heaving bosom underneath springs to mind but hey these things are sent to try us.
 Yes I could learn to do it properly but then where's the fun in that !

So what if  I'm no Vivienne Westwood and my tailoring skills would have Savile Row in fits. I love my cack handed attempts at craft and at least they will keep you all in stitches .

ALL THINGS BRIGHT AND POO-TIFUL

IRRESPONSIBLE DOG OWNERS - A MESS-AGE TO YOU

MONDAY morning 8.30 , you're on the school run and wondering why the person in front of you is doing the Ministry of Silly Walks.

But no , the world hasn’t suddenly gone ” Pythonesque ” it’s just that although we should be admiring the beautiful colours of spring they’ve just fallen foul of a pavement that's 50 shades of brown.

For while the majority of dog owners are responsible there are still a few who lack the basic etiquette in picking up after their pooch even when provided with one of over 700 dog litter bins in Medway.

If you recall, we were encouraged to start scooping the poop in 1996 when the Dog Fouling Act first came into place. The reason behind it being that scientists had discovered that dog/cat faeces had been found to contain the roundworm parasite which can cause Toxocariasis. An infection which if caught by humans could cause headaches, nausea, stomach pains and serious eye disorders that can last for 6-24 months. Just one single dog poo can contain up to at least 1 million microscopic roundworm eggs and these in turn can live for up to 2 years in soil which makes it one of the biggest carriers of the parasite as the poo degrades into it. For humans to contract Toxocariasis they have to come into contact with and ingest infected soil/sand such as that in kids play areas but it can be caught through direct contact with dogs/cats or inanimate objects as well such as shoe soles and pram/buggy wheels. So remember kids when mum tells you to wash your hands and wipe your feet , she's got a good reason for it !

kb.keepbritaintidy.org/dogs/publications/guidedog.pdf 

So that description of the consequences of not picking up after your animal should be enough to turn the stomach of even the hardiest of irresponsible dog owners and make them change their ways but sadly that's not the case.

I mean maybe I was a Womble in a former life but when one of my sons (as a toddler I hasten to add !) decided to crouch down on a packed beach in Broadstairs and take a massive dump on the edge of the seashore my first thought was to grab something to clear it up. So what is the problem with these people who feel that it's not their responsibility to pick up after their " little darlings". 

 On a short walk to the shops recently I lost count of the amount of times I had to shout ' look out ' to make sure my boys didn't step in various piles of faeces en route.
Some are just mere yards apart as if the dog and owner are laying a trail to find their way back home in a bizarre ' Hansel and Gretel ' parody.

And then of course we also have the 'part time' responsible dog owner , yeah you know who I'm talking about. The ones who think they are being good because they've bagged it up but when there's no bin in sight chuck it on the ground or even worse up in a tree or bush like some twisted and macabre Christmas decoration.

 In the freezing temperatures we've been having recently you'd think they'd appreciate having something warm in their pockets till they can dispose of it but hey ho......
(Incidentally after taking the photo above I turned round to walk away and stuck my size five boot straight into a big pile of the offending stuff we are talking about. The irony of the situation was not lost on me although my sense of humour did take leave for a few seconds!)

A common line you hear from the non picker uppers is that they didn't have a bag on them . That's a bit lame if you ask me, there are a couple of reasons you take your dog out for a walk, one is exercise and the other ? Well ,that's the thing you need the bag for, it's a bit of  a no brainer really. It doesn't have to be a fancy doggy poo bag ,baby nappy sacks, sandwich bags or a normal carrier will do the job just as well ( although you might want to look out for the holes in supermarket bags ! ). And seeing as you can also pick up bags from libraries and other community hubs you've really got no reason to not have one about your person.

Next up  " there was no bin for me to put it in " . Granted , at times there is some distance between you and the next dog litter receptacle but the fact is you can actually put your dog poo in a normal bin as long as its been securely bagged up so that's that argument out the window too.

You could feign ignorance of any law that says you should pick up their poop but unless you're blind ( a possible side effect of toxocariasis as it happens , that'll teach you not to clean up after your dog ! ) you can't fail to notice the bright yellow signs applied to many a lamp-post ( we could possibly be stereotyping where dogs like to hang out here but I digress ). They warn you that there is a fixed penalty of £80 to pay for letting your dog foul here and that can increase to a maximum of £1000 if you are found to be persistently offending the pavement with your dogs business.

Medway Council try to do their bit to keep the streets clean with regular patrols from community /plain clothes officers and a machine dedicated to picking up mess from green land areas such as parks and fields. However they can only take action when one of their officers actually witnesses someone failing to pick up their dog litter. They will always give a fine when they can and we can give them a helping hand in identifying the culprits. If you observe anyone letting their dog foul the pavement regularly you can report them to their LOVE MEDWAY PAGE . Note down details of the offender and their animal and let them know at this link. -http://www.medway.gov.uk/environmentandplanning/wastemanagement/lovemedway.aspx .
There's a chance if you tell someone to pick up their canines poo that you might get a mouthful of abuse but I doubt they'd be quite so vocal if confronted by a member of the police. 3 fixed penalty rates have been issued between 2012 -2013 if we all start being a bit more vigilant maybe we could make that rate a bit higher.

 Something else that I think would definitely make these inconsiderate dog owners sit up and take notice is if they realised that through their own selfishness they are adding to the amount of taxes they are having to pay. With the counties total bill for clearing up litter ( including graffiti and dog mess )coming in at approximately 15 million for the past year they'd soon have something to say if they realised their hard earned ( or not as the case may be )cash was being frittered away on someone else having to pick up something they could do themselves for free .

In perspective the amount of cash being spent on it could be put towards training 700 N.H.S nurses or fixing 300,000 potholes in our roads.

It's something to think about isn't it ?

And if that's not enough let me finish with this

In the area where I live there is a man who walks his dog regularly everyday despite having lost both his legs and being confined to a wheelchair . He without fail also makes sure that if his dog does its business on that walk that it's cleared up and disposed of in the correct way even if it does take a bit of major operation for him to achieve this .

So to those of you who do continue to flout your responsibility, I hope you're ashamed of yourselves , he's a credit to us all .