At what price , education ?

New blazers hang smartly upon the wardrobe door, inside you’ll find shirts so white and crisp and there’s more,

Black trousers with creases so precise and so sharp, ties that once mastered, will make the wearer look smart.

New socks neatly tucked one into another, shoes buffed to perfection, all thanks to mother.

P.E bags kitted out for every sport within reason, rugby, football, athletics even the cricket season.

Pencil case bursting with writing and artistic supplies.

 Mathematical equipment for geometry, algebra and  Pi.

Science overall and apron packed in new pristine rucksack,

 To be placed in a locker and homework bought back.

All labelled by mum with much love and great care,

 With hope at the end of term, it will all still be there.

So here’s to your first day, look after your things

Be good, do your best and enjoy everything

And if you’re tempted at all to be careless with your stuff,

Just recall how much it all cost us,

Good gracious, HOW MUCH?!

 

The girl with a child in her eyes .....

Once upon a time I only knew her as the singer my granddad ( who wasn't a big fan as you'll probably be able to tell by the following ) referred to as Kate " bloody" bush , so much so that for years  I was convinced that was her actual full name . 

Shewas the lady with the slightly scary staring eyes as she sang and danced about in a somewhat overdramatic manner in her videos or during TV performances .

But now as I sit and watch all the tribute programmes to her as her much awaited 2014 concerts approach showtime and having let myself over the years fall in love with much of the music I thought was going to be awful due to my early years influencing by my elders I realise here is a woman I completely identify with much more than I thought.

Kates stage persona is outrageous, outgoing,amazing and so dramatic but in person she's a quiet,soft spoken woman who likes to keep herself to herself and those close to her .

And to a certain extent that is the way I am .

That person talking loudly about vibrators being about as quiet as a pneumatic drill in front of strangers and sending the speculumn shooting across the couch during a smear test with my amazing pelvic floor muscles is the same one who absolutely cacked her pants about reading a poem at a family members wedding.

The writer who gives good argument in her column is the same one who stutters and struggles to string a sentence together in real life conversation making her sound anything other than articulate.

And the person who can be up first on the dance floor or standing in front of others djing and shaking what her mother gave her whilst wearing outfits that might not be everyone's cup of tea but the thought of actually being someone performing be it singing or acting on a stage would cause a major nervous breakdown .

They are all part of multiple cover versions of  myself shielding the original that only those special in my life get to meet , the one that isn't miss dee vinyl , the girl from the neck down , the one who conceals her gaze with big sunglasses so that no-one can look into her eyes and see deep into her soul , to who she really is .

But maybe one day she'll let every little insecurity about herself that stops her taking centre stage in her own life drop and my what a comeback that'll be. 

Dee vinyl sounds 31/08/2014 , Is he tall ? well I've gotta look up...

1) rip it up - orange juice

2)I can't do anything - x ray spex

3)confessions of a milf - viv albertine 
4)ELEVEN PLUS ELEVEN - NINE BELOW ZERO

5) let's make love and listen to death from above -CSS 

6) man with the child in his eyes - Kate bush 

7) she's attracted to - the young knives 

8) give him a great big kiss - the shangri - la's  

9) why don't you love me - Beyoncé 

10) dr gold foot and the bikini machine - the supremes 

11) big John - the shirelles 

12) have love , will travel - thee headcoatees

13)proud Mary - Ike and Tina 

14)god only knows - the beach boys 

15) there's a ghost in my house - r.dean Taylor 

16) superbass - nicki minaj

17) oh you pretty things - David Bowie 

18) yakety yak - the coasters 

19) problem - ariana grande feat iggy azelea

20)Comanche - the Len price 3

dee vinyl sounds " what a smashing blouse that is you're wearing "

Apologies, I realise im a week late with this , got distracted by absolutely nothing last Sunday and then news of rik mayalls death kind of threw me for the rest of the week so as a tribute there's a couple of rik inspired tracks in this weeks 20 . 

R.I.P RIK 

I'll miss you 

You made me laugh till I cried then this week cry till I laughed as I remembered your best bits ( ooh err ) 

1)living doll - cliff Richard and the young ones
2)gangsters - the specials
3)on my radio- the selector
4)over under sideways down - the yardbirds
5)mary mary -the monkees
6)bo diddley-bo diddley
7)I cant turn you loose -Otis redding
8)last night - the mar-keys
9)respect- Aretha -franklin
10)aint got no,got life- nina simone
11)soul time-Shirley ellis
12)im on my way-dean parrish
13)she's leaving home - the Beatles 

14) a little time - the beautiful south 

15)jive talking - the bee gees 

16)love really hurts without you - billy ocean 

17)I  love her so much it hurts me-the majestics

18) there's a guy works down the chip shop swears he's elvis - Kirsty maccoll 

19)shakin all over - johnny Kidd and the pirates 

20) Christine - siouxsie and the banshees 

Dear Kirstie Allsopp,

                           I was that fictional girl of which you speak , the   "Darling, do you know what? Don't go to university. Start work straight after school. Stay at home, save up your deposit … then we can find you a nice boyfriend and you can have a baby by the time you're 27." That was me at the age of 16 as I left school after finishing my gcses still no wiser as to what I wanted to achieve in life than I had been all those years before as I played with my sindy doll in the sandpit
That was me who thought higher education or college was of no use for me as the teachers I'd had had made it more than clear I wasn't capable of amounting to much more than stacking supermarket shelves despite a fine grammar school education .
That was me working hard from the age of 17 till 22 paying my own way for everything at home while my older brother was cadging money off my mum when he came home visiting from university.
She was also the girl who after several disastrous attempts at romance with "nice boyfriends " sought love comfort and security in the arms of a much older friend to protect her from any further humiliation on the dating scene.
The girl went from all out indie nightclubbing bird to nice homely dormouse girl hermitting away in the safe confines of her little relationship bliss world where five years later the decision was made that as he wasn't getting any younger they should try for babies now rather than leave it a while. I was that magical baby making machine of 27 who thought her one purpose in life was finally raising itself and showing  me the career that would fulfil everything id dreamed about.
except  it didn't ,
some ten years later although I adored having my kids around and loved them with every fibre of my being , the nagging thought tugged in my head that maybe being 37 and a school cleaning lady wasn't exactly where id seen myself heading as I walked out of  those school gates for the last time some 20 years before.
and the fact i was hearing whispers that some people thought i was some empty headed dolly with no opinions of her own verging on Stepford housewifery whilst others just looked right through me like i was an invisible lady made me start to really doubt anyone even noticed anything about me at all.
so I decided I needed to do something about it
and despite protestations of what do you need to do that for cant you just be content with what you are i did find something that i was good at after all , my life did have more meaning than cleaning school lavvies and making the kids packed lunches.




But happy as I am now I do  wish id done that all a long time before I settled down and had children, I wish id taken more time out to live my life instead of thinking boyfriend and kids was what I needed to make me feel complete . that's the thing about finding out what you really want to do with your career  after having children , you have to have a really tight ultra organised schedule to fit anything you have to do to achieve it in . if I had waited till now to have my kids I could have had the time to go onto higher education but the thing is kids, an other half tend and adult responsibilites to get in the way of just swanning off to the student life not to mention time and costs for those sort of things when you have quite a few mouths to feed.
so im not going to knock kirstie for what she thinks is the best thing to do , ladies , if she believes that's whats best for any fictional daughter of hers then let her think that
But I say, go with your heart on what you think is the right way for you because only you know what it is ....
Who knows maybe what someone has told you would never be a success in might just be the making of you , don't you reckon mr careers advisor / English teacher who told me I couldn't write anything that anyone would be interested in reading and sent me on a work experience placement working in a supermarket because that's where they reckoned I'd end up being !

LADIES, LOVE IS YOUR JUGS AND YOU NEED TO PAW

Not to put to fine a point on it, it has to be said I am in possession of a quite splendid rack and have had since puberty struck back all those years ago in the mists of time.
Heck if anyone were to try and describe me to someone who couldn't remember me ,chances are one of the first bullet points would be " you know the one with the massive tits ".
People try to say politely oh that's not the first thing I notice about you but chances are begrudgingly as I am to admit it, if they haven't clocked them primarily it'll probably be the 2nd thing their attention is drawn to.


They even loomed so large (s'cuse the pun ) in my legend at one point back in my days as a club dj that they had their own Facebook fan appreciation page devoted to them and I would joke that I wish I could send them off to do things on their own as they got far more attention than I ever did.


And while the baps have entered a whole new era now they are much more mature and more interested in supporting womens rights rather than providing a handy bottle holder for carrying more than two  drinks across a packed dance floor those two special points of interest still hold a special place in my heart for me.


I'd never mess with these bad girls as they've been all mine for a long time now and I know for a fact some women would pay good money for surgery to have something like what mother nature gave me naturally .


They've been through good times , babies , gok wan appreciation and admiration with me and also bad times cracked nipples , constant gawping , stupid immature schoolboy comments at the age when I didn't even know what sex was but theyre as much a part of me as the rest of the body I was given so they deserve as much tender loving care as the rest of me.


And with a history of breast cancer in our family that means making sure to check my fun bags regularly ,something I admit to having been a bit lax about doing up until I watched kris hallenga's " dying to live " documentary a couple of months ago and realised just how devastating the effects of not getting things checked out quickly can be.
So that's why on finding that my breast and armpit area had started feeling almost bruised to the touch but yet there was no lump I took it upon myself to get it checked out just to be on the safe side . I did sit in the waiting room thinking " oh the doctors going to think I'm just being a bit of a drama queen  , I probably shouldn't be here " but no amount of description could define the relief of the load of worry he took off my mind when he said it was nothing more than a muscle strain in my arm that was causing all the discomfort and that it could be easily treated with a little ibuprofen , muscle rub and a change of the position I sleep in.


So girls please make sure your checking yourself regularly regardless of how old you are  or how trivial you think it is and if you think somethings not right see your doctor right away don't be embarrassed they'll think youre making a mountain out of a mole hill because at best you will find theres nothing to worry about and if god forbid it should turn out to be bad news it might just well have saved your life.

Dee-vinyl sounds- So tell me am I looking better , have you forgot whatever it was you couldn't stand about me

Here's this weeks dee vinyl sounds , been a bit poorly so no amusing anecdote for you today , normal service will be resumed next week 

ENJOY 

1) driving on 9 - the breeders 

2)in the basement - Etta James with sugar pie desanto 

3)razzmatazz -pulp

4)yes - mcalmont and butler 

5)ciao - lush featuring Jarvis cocker 

6)strumpet- my life story 

7) do I make myself clear - Etta and sugar pie desanto ( yes I know , they're in twice but I couldn't decide which one to leave out as they're both awesome ) 

8)you keep it all in - the beautiful south 

9)primadonna - marina and the diamonds 

10) everybody's gonna be happy - the kinks 

11) I'm gonna run away from you - Tami Lynn 

12) nothing but a heartache - the flirtations

13)ask - the smiths 

14) fancy - iggy azela

15) your kiss is sweet - syreeta 

16) your kisses are wasted on me - the pipettes 

17)giddy stratospheres - the long blondes 

18) johnny remember me - John Layton 

19) Gloria -them feat van Morrison 

20)give a little love - bugsy Malone soundtrack