The Doctor will see you now

Breaking news – The Doctor is out.

Peter Capaldi, that is, who has announced that his 12^th incarnation of the nation’s favourite time lord will hang up his sonic screwdriver in 2017’s Christmas special.

And so now Whovian’s eagerly await and wildly speculate about who will fill that prestigious vacancy in time and relative dimension in space.

Rumours are abounded and the usual suspect’s names have been pushed to the fore as always when such an iconic role comes up for grabs to fill.

And in the midst of it all comes the suggestion that is almost as old as the doctor himself.

 That being that maybe with this regeneration the Gallifreyan should take on a whole new demeanour and embrace a more feminine side of them self.

To some the idea of their traditionally male hero changing gender after all these years is sacrilege , however with the doctors greatest nemesis The Master rising from the dead as the spectacularly mischievous  Missy in 2014 it isn’t such a couldn’t be done story line as it would’ve been years ago .

Hell in a bustle skirt and with a glint in her eye that you’re not sure whether it means she likes you or that she’s just teasing you while she plans your imminent demise she’s given the ultimate adversary a whole new lease of life after supposed death and you never really quite sure whether she’s going to be playing the part of friend or foe to her one time childhood chum the doctor so maybe it’s time he followed suit and joined the other side to see how different the space time continuum and world could be if girls ,like Beyonce once said, were running it.

After all twelve months ago would we have thought that we would have ended 2016 with a new female prime minister, seen Boris Johnson in an important role like Foreign Secretary or watched agog as the person we thought was least likely to win the presidential race was sworn into the White House whilst struggling to find anyone of note to perform at his inauguration ceremony because his attitude and personality hasn’t made him the most likeable person on the planet.

 I think if 2016 taught us anything it was not to assume everything was going to go exactly as we thought it would, so prepare yourselves Whovians because Christmas 2017 might need you to open your minds to a really big change and to expect the unexpected.

 

 

 

 

Down at heels

There are two types of women in the world.

On one hand we have those who are the picture of elegance in a beautifully crafted towering heel, gliding effortlessly past looking like a goddess, graceful and serene.

And then you have those whose camp I find myself falling into, quite literally on occasion if I find myself wearing a pair of the aforementioned type of shoes.

Believe me it’s not as if we don’t try to look feminine in them it’s just that the burning soles, pinched toes and off kilter balance tend to give us all the girlish demeanour of the chaps in denim hot pants in a certain TV advert.

So keeping that in mind that all ladies feet are different isn’t it about time that we let women decide what kind of shoes are best suited to them in the work place.

Surely as long as they’re smart and practical for what the job entails whether they have a heel or are flat should be completely irrelevant.

SOMETHING BUGGY-ING YOU ?

Buggies vs wheelchairs , not as it might sound to the unknowing amongst you, a whole new genre of action film, but a subject that has been in the headlines recently after  a supreme court ruling in a case in Yorkshire ruled that bus drivers should do more to accommodate wheelchair users.

Doug Palley took the case to court after a dispute with a lady with a buggy in the disabled bay on a bus  refused to take her baby out of its pushchair and fold it down to make room for his wheel chair meaning  he was refused entry .

Now I need to get one thing straight first, this isn’t going to be one of those rants against parents with small children on public transport because to be honest with you I’ve done my own fair share of that in my time and i can tell you from experience that i know it’s not exactly the easiest thing in the world to get yourself and your kids from A to B without the aid of a car if the distance is too far to walk and taxis are a tad expensive to be getting regularly.

Neither is this going to be a rant at wheelchair users because they like everyone else deserve to be able to go about their life with the least amount of obstacles being thrown in their way too .

I think we all just need to look at the bigger picture involved rather than the buggy vs wheelchair debate and start taking into consideration where we could all co-operate in making the whole bus  journey a little bit more comfortable for everybody.

I’ve seen parents with children in buggies being tutted and moaned at by others for taking up room or precious time as they try to get their pushchair into the spaces provided and quite disgustingly heard similar whinging about disabled passengers manoeuvring themselves into their correct positions.

I’ve also observed just as many people with buggies being refused places on buses because there’s not enough room for them in the spaces provided and seen disabled passengers manhandled out of the way of others against their will simply because they aren’t moving fast enough for the impatient travellers behind them .

Yes , generally if someone has been capable of setting up a pushchair  they are quite capable of putting it down again while the same of which cannot generally be said about the wheelchair user , however isn’t it worth considering that if everyone not just the two sides involved in this case were all to work together , offering to make room if needed , holding small children shopping or whatever while manoeuvres are carried out so all the onus isn’t just left on the bus driver there would be no need for these silly versus battles and supreme court rulings.

 

UNEXPECTED VICTORY

It’s been a mixed bag of triumphs and tribulations for me since my last column if I’m being honest.

The driving test that was rescheduled due to bad weather just before new year didn’t quite go to plan as my failure to heed to Corporal Jones from Dads Army’s best bit of advice, in other words “Don’t Panic “meant i once again failed by the slimmest of margins when i let my nerves get the better of me .

However amidst all that disappointment and distracted by falling victim to yet another cold which means since the turn of 2017 I’ve actually had more days ill than I’ve had well there was a victory creeping up on me that I’ve been chasing on and off since at least September last year .

It’s taken a long time to get there, however it seems taking my mind off it with other things has really helped, I have now reached my 2 and half stone lost goal at slimming world so it’s onwards and downwards to 3 stone now from here.

EGG BOUND

I told you it would happen, didn’t I?

It’s very subtle but it’s started, in fact in my neck of the woods it reared its head at least a couple of days before Christmas dinner had even been served.

Those without a keen eye for this sort of thing might have missed it as it tucked itself neatly into a corner of the local newsagents but i spotted it immediately trying to act normal and not draw attention to itself whilst carols and Christmas songs blared from the shop radio and customers came and went in their Santa hats and festive jumpers.

However now the decorations and frivolity have all been consigned back to the cupboard for another 12 months it’s become much more difficult for it to blend into the background , have a look next time you’re out and about , it hasn’t gone fully blown yet but once you realise what I’m on about I’m sure you’ll get pretty Egg-cited .

DRIVING VEXED

Planning this column over the Christmas holidays I was hoping to be able to regale you with a bit of good news about what I’d been up to on my yuletide break.

For as the rest of you anticipated what the turn of the new year would bring the following evening, early on the 30^th December I was venturing out on the cold, misty morning in hope that this time I would be second time lucky in securing that all important pass certificate for my practical driving test .

Having chosen the early time slot for the sole purpose that it gave me less time to sit around at home stressing  I arrived at the test centre raring to go and strode through the doors with a positive “ c’mon then show me what you got “ attitude on ,ready to take on anything the roads could throw at me .

Which was when I glanced at my phone and spotted the cancellation email that stated that the decision had been made to reschedule my driving test as the foggy conditions had rendered it unsafe for the examiner to take me out on the road to assess my driving ability.

To say I was disappointed would be an understatement, however I conceded to the fact eventually that it just wasn’t going to happen that day, returned to my instructors car and wouldn’t you just believe it drove home perfectly with no silly mistakes and even nailing that hill start at the mini roundabout that I’d had the major disaster with on my first test.

So as we speak I am practising hard for my rescheduled appointment which comes up very soon after this column will be published.

I’d like to take this time while i wait though to impart some of my own wisdom on to the powers that be who decree whether or not it’s safe for you to partake in your practical that might make the whole cancellation process a little less stressful in the long run.

First of all , the majority of people tend to schedule in a last lesson prior to driving to the test centre so where possible it would be best to send out the cancellation notice as early as you can rather than 10 minutes before the test is due to take place .

In those circumstances where that is for whatever reason a problem it would secondly be distinctly more courteous for there to be someone in the waiting room at the centre to apologise for the inconvenience caused rather than having all the staff hiding away behind closed doors, fearful to come out and face the music because they know that the candidates tempers might be a little vexed.

Reinvestigating what constitutes unsafe driving conditions from day to day might also be worth considering as there were plenty of learner drivers out in that fog that day driving safely including myself, yet the day before when it was really lovely and bright i had really struggled as the combination of the sun shining low and dazzling me with its reflection on the shiny wet roads had meant I was literally driving blind in some areas of Medway.

And finally it is advisable that if you’re going to cancel certain candidates tests due to the weather that you should be consistent with that decision throughout the day as if you are seen less than an hour later by both the cancelled candidate and their instructor to be sending out tests when the weather is much the same as it was before it does look to them as if you just didn’t want to go out on the early bird sessions and are suiting yourselves rather than considering the schedules of those sitting their practical’s .

Hope that advice is of good use to those concerned , you know it makes sense , I’ll see you on and at my revised date and time and maybe next time my column goes to print I might finally have something to celebrate about .

 

JUSTFIED ANCIENTS OF MOO MOO .....

Canterbury Street, Gillingham.

 The humble setting to many a scene from my life.

From the location of the stationery shop i started my YTS work placement in at the age of 17, to the charity shops and discount store that provided me with many an amazing outfit and cheap knock off designer perfume for my Friday nights out at local indie club night subsonic back in the Britpop years.

And just a few doors up from my place of employment stood the venue of choice for many a young person in the area.

It’s been Joanna’s in its time, The Zone and back in the day when I received the hallowed free entry tickets in commemoration of turning 18 it was known as the Ritzy.

However recently I noticed that like the doctor in the popular BBC tv series it was undergoing yet another regeneration and has now become known as the MooMoo clubrooms.

Which makes me wonder if the inspiration for the name change is down to the fact that many nightclubs often get compared to being much like a “ cattle market “?