AGE APP-PROPRIATE

You’re only as old as the man/woman you feel so the old adage goes and if you’re signed up to any social media site then no doubt your timeline has been awash with friends sharing their results obtained from the Microsoft how old app this week.

Some will be jubilant about the outcome that uploading a photo to it reveals, others not so much with its forecast of premature ageing.

But before we start throwing our toys out of the pram or declaring “it wouldn’t of happened in my day” it’s worth remembering that other  well used motto “age ain’t nothing but a number “ and if that’s true technology is in its infancy and still has a lot to learn when judging reality.

On the other hand though if it wants to put yours truly at 23, 17 years younger than i actually am this year then that’s just fine and dandy by me!

CAN I JUST STOP YOU .....

You’ve dropped the kids at school , your housework for the week is done , what shall I do you think to yourself , what can I get up to in this couple of hours exclusive to me.

So you decide to venture out for a bit of retail therapy.

You’ve planned exactly where you want to go, what you want to do and intend to enjoy your day at a pace that’s leisurely, calm and solely about you.

And as you start the day you hope that this will be how it continues but you know you have to keep your wits about you because they’re everywhere, watching, waiting, preparing for that moment you let your guard down and then they’ll be on to you, going for the kill.

Out of the shadows they swarm, pen, clipboard or leaflet in hand, you know they’re just trying to do their job but if you’re just trying to get from one place to another without too much interruption it can start to get a bit annoying .

Can I stop you my love, who’s your energy provider, can I interest you in this, that or the other?

The list of open questions with which to catch you and reel you in is endless as they pursue you with almost stalkerish zeal down the shopping mall or precinct.

It becomes a massive game of cat and mouse as they try to entice you into their trap and make you surrender those all important bank details and a signature in exchange for your freedom.

A simple polite no thank you will normally suffice in most cases if they start to get too near but there’s always that one who thinks they can make your business their business if only you’d answer their question on why you’re not interested.

And there’s really only one way to deal with this situation, if they fail to pick up on the massive hint you’re dropping by sprinting towards the nearest exit, stop off at that other stall as they follow you in hot pursuit and say “no I haven’t had an accident yet but if you wait a moment there might be one along in a minute “.

 

MAYBE ONE DAY CANCER WILL JUST BE MY STAR SIGN NOT A KILLER DISEASE

Trainers laced up tightly, check.

Number pinned securely to your chest, affirmative captain.

Pink Dame Edna style glasses in place, flowery crown looking splendid, yes most definitely.

Specially dyed vintage long line girdle worn over your t-shirt and leggings looking like a rose tinted superhero, all present and correct.

C’mon then girl this is it, you’re all suited and booted and cancer best prepare to take on the wrath of over a thousand women , for today’s the day Rochester turns pink as it hosts the race for life  and guess who’s in the running to give cancer a jolly good kick up the bits .

Well I say running but since we’ve just done a warm up and I’m already knackered I think we know that’s not going to be happening so I make my way over to the blue jogging section with the rest of my clique.

 We wait overlooking Boley hill then a klaxon blows heartily and it’s off down the high street we go in a river of pink t shirts, tutus, feather boas and deely boppers.

Trainers pad slowly and steadily on the pavement , the jogging idea has already proved a tad over optimistic to keep going and as the heat emanating from my calves threatens to light any nearby barbeques I switch to my much preferred pedestrian mode of brisk walking.

And as I stroll along I take time to read the labels everyone has on their backs beholding their reasons for putting themselves regardless of fitness level through 5k on a lovely summer’s morning.

It’s for mothers, fathers, grandparents, friends, sons, daughters, brothers, sisters and other loved ones.

Those who’ve been taken from them, those who have beaten their illness and those who are fighting still.

Every person here in all their pinkest finery is doing this because they’ve been affected in some way by this disease that doesn’t care who you are or what life you still have to live yet.

So as I creak past the finishing line some 50 minutes after I started, I’m quite proud of myself for doing it despite not being the next Usain Bolt and being desperately in need of some new feet.

For every little helps no matter how fast ,slow ,sparkly or sporty it is ,in the fight to hope that one day cancer will only be my star sign not a killer disease.

with service like this who needs enemies

When I think about the time I waste in my life I’m pretty sure a huge amount of it is spent trying to pick up prescriptions from our local pharmacy.

On more than one occasion, I’ve turned up to collect one only to be told that nothing under that name was delivered  from the village surgery whereby a wild goose chase ensues in a bid to locate the elusive list of medical needs.

On others it has been mislaid although there’s definitely a record of it arriving and I’m left standing for ages as the blame is passed from pillar to post before they even think about sorting the error out for me.

So to hear “ oh yes it’s definitely here , it’ll be ready for you this afternoon “ about the latest one 24 hours previous to picking it up was really quite amazing .

However I should’ve known better than to be lulled into a false sense of security as 24 hours later I ended up waiting 15 minutes for medication that hadn’t been bagged up let alone put on the collection shelf yet.

With service like this I suppose it’s lucky none of us suffers from anything life threatening really!