By Nina Page
WORDS don’t come easy to me so say the words of the song.
Writing them down I
can do but ask me to read them out loud, now that’s a different matter.
Let me explain, as a child I was painfully shy to the point
that I didn’t speak in a register above a whisper for the first 2 years of
primary school even getting to the point where I would rather wet myself than
ask a teacher if I could go to the toilet.
So you can imagine the prospect of speaking aloud in a room
full of people would have been enough to send that small girl hurtling into a
nervous breakdown and having to go for a lie down in matron’s office for the
rest of the day.
Yet here I am over 30 years later agreeing to do just that
at my youngest brother’s forthcoming wedding. Even now at 38 the thought of
speaking in front of lots of people leaves me feeling like that little girl
standing in her wet knickers so why would I put myself through all that again?
The nerves alone have the power to turn my normal speaking voice
from Chatham Grammar girl to bad Bruce Forsyth impersonation in just a matter
of seconds. I might as well be back up on that podium in the school hall stuttering
my way through another shambolic reading from a book of my own choice as
everyone sniggers behind their hands.
But this time it’s different, I don’t feel like I’m being
judged and about to get “sorry but it’s a no from me “it’s for two people I
care about very much and I’d do anything to make them happy on their big day.
I mean, what’s the worst that could happen. Granted I could
make such a hash of reading it that I become an overnight YouTube sensation if
someone catches it on their i phone .
But it’s not as if I’m a stranger to total humiliation.
After all aren’t i the one who took a tumble down the steps
of the dj booth i was playing in, sprained my wrist but still got straight back
up and finished the set because” the show must go on “.
So spare a thought at 2pm on 19th September as I prepare to
take part in the most important performance of their lives and wish me luck.
With all the love in the room I might not need it, but I’ll pack spare
underwear just in case!
from girl from the neck down column - medway messenger
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