Not to put to fine a point on it, it has to be said I am in possession of a quite splendid rack and have had since puberty struck back all those years ago in the mists of time.
Heck if anyone were to try and describe me to someone who couldn't remember me ,chances are one of the first bullet points would be " you know the one with the massive tits ".
People try to say politely oh that's not the first thing I notice about you but chances are begrudgingly as I am to admit it, if they haven't clocked them primarily it'll probably be the 2nd thing their attention is drawn to.
They even loomed so large (s'cuse the pun ) in my legend at one point back in my days as a club dj that they had their own Facebook fan appreciation page devoted to them and I would joke that I wish I could send them off to do things on their own as they got far more attention than I ever did.
And while the baps have entered a whole new era now they are much more mature and more interested in supporting womens rights rather than providing a handy bottle holder for carrying more than two drinks across a packed dance floor those two special points of interest still hold a special place in my heart for me.
I'd never mess with these bad girls as they've been all mine for a long time now and I know for a fact some women would pay good money for surgery to have something like what mother nature gave me naturally .
They've been through good times , babies , gok wan appreciation and admiration with me and also bad times cracked nipples , constant gawping , stupid immature schoolboy comments at the age when I didn't even know what sex was but theyre as much a part of me as the rest of the body I was given so they deserve as much tender loving care as the rest of me.
And with a history of breast cancer in our family that means making sure to check my fun bags regularly ,something I admit to having been a bit lax about doing up until I watched kris hallenga's " dying to live " documentary a couple of months ago and realised just how devastating the effects of not getting things checked out quickly can be.
So that's why on finding that my breast and armpit area had started feeling almost bruised to the touch but yet there was no lump I took it upon myself to get it checked out just to be on the safe side . I did sit in the waiting room thinking " oh the doctors going to think I'm just being a bit of a drama queen , I probably shouldn't be here " but no amount of description could define the relief of the load of worry he took off my mind when he said it was nothing more than a muscle strain in my arm that was causing all the discomfort and that it could be easily treated with a little ibuprofen , muscle rub and a change of the position I sleep in.
So girls please make sure your checking yourself regularly regardless of how old you are or how trivial you think it is and if you think somethings not right see your doctor right away don't be embarrassed they'll think youre making a mountain out of a mole hill because at best you will find theres nothing to worry about and if god forbid it should turn out to be bad news it might just well have saved your life.
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