Wednesday, 29 October 2014

RAT'S YOUR LOT


Spiders, I can do. Flies, worms, snails, no problem.

In a house that includes 3 strapping males it would probably amuse you to learn that it’s this little female who  has to get rid of anything vaguely creepy crawly.

Whether in possession of 8 spindly legs or annoying buzzy wings, critters are no match for this guardian of the home when armed with a newspaper or glass with which to escort them humanely towards the nearest exit.

However like many a superhero before me there is one weakness with which my powers can be vanquished.

And this week evil genius Gadget Cat revealed to all the personal kryptonite with which you could render me useless.

For by simply depositing a small furry rodent at my feet I was transformed from protector of people from pests to slightly hysterical woman hitching up her imaginary skirts who wouldn’t have looked out of place in a Tom and Jerry cartoon.

Something that stings or has a staple diet of rotting food and dog poo, I can deal with.

 Scurrying mammal with a bald tail?

Eeeek, run away!

 GIRL FROM THE NECK DOWN -MEDWAY MESSENGER 20/10/14

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