Wednesday, 16 September 2015

DONT STAND SO CLOSE TO ME ...


Picture the scene, it’s a brisk, chilly spring evening in the early 90s and I’ve just left my Y.T.S placement at a stationery shop in Gillingham.

I’m not earning big bucks, but at least that £35 a week means I have my own income with which to indulge in my two biggest loves, fashion and music.

Learning to drive is way ahead in the future for me yet so it’s good old Maidstone and District I’m relying on to get me to and from Wigmore and Canterbury Street every day and tonight is no exception.

I trudge down to the stop on Skinner Street, sometimes there are lots of us waiting but tonight I’m on my own so i shove my hands deeper into my jacket pockets to keep them warm and glance at the road ahead to see if there’s any sign of the 115 approaching.

 Swivelling round to see if any are coming in the opposite direction it takes me quite by surprise to find that an unkempt and rather tatty looking fellow in a blue velvet jacket has sidled up behind me.

He mumbles something incoherent and not wishing to seem rude i give him a smile before turning my attention back once again to whether the bus is coming.

It’s as I’m checking my watch to see if when the timetable says 10 minutes past it actually means this specific ten past or some random ten minutes of the drivers own choosing that I realise that the person I hadn’t really paid much attention to behind me is now being very attentive indeed.

The weather is icy cold this evening but his hot breath on the back of my neck doesn’t warm me as he stands a little too close for comfort.

I shuffle forward slightly thinking maybe he just has a problem with spatial awareness but with every move i make he’s there close behind pressing himself right into the small of my back and breathing in my ear.

Standing frozen to the spot, panicking about what i can do as by now most of the surrounding businesses have shut up shop for the evening; you can probably understand the relief i felt as my bus finally appeared round the corner at that very moment.

I jumped on board and as the doors slammed shut in between me and him i sat shaking and cursing at myself for not making a fuss and letting him do that to me.

So that’s why I applaud the New York magazine cover of the 35 Bill Cosby accusers and the empty chair that represents the ones who feel they can’t or don’t want to make themselves known for making a statement that’s as powerful as it is simplistic .

My experience wasn’t in any way as harrowing and awful as what these ladies have been through but i know it’s the reason i have issues with people standing too close to me or invading my personal space unless I’ve really got to know them well first.

To me that picture is amazing because it says it’s not ok for someone to feel they have the right to violate you no matter who they are or what their opinions of you might be.

And there it is speaking volumes in black and white for the entire world to see.

 

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