Of 2015 that is.
By the time you read this we’ll be a couple of days into
2016 so as is customary in various areas of the media around this time I
thought I’d take you on a trip back through the last 12 months to see what
lessons I’ve learnt in a Girl from the neck down Review of the year.
With subjects as diverse as the tampon tax, Back to the future
and smoking outside schools, not to mention not one but two displays of my questionable
song writing abilities with a little help from Misters Rodgers, Hammerstein and
Davies there’s a veritable box of delights to choose from so let’s get right on
with this list shall we, kicking off quite aptly with;
1)New year’s resolutions – In concept a great subject to
cover as Big Ben chimes in the start of
a new calendar ,in reality slightly gutting to read 9 months down the line when
you realise you’ve made a lot of promises you just couldn’t keep .
2) “I’m not going to be the fat frumpy forty something
bridesmaid “I proclaimed back in January. However as the wedding day dawned in July
and the photographic evidence revealed I was more heavyweight than Tyson Fury I
realised it was time to stop talking about losing weight and actually go out
and do something about it and here I am entering the New Year a stone lighter
and a whole lot happier.
3) Turning 40 wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be , I’m
still the same fairly odd person I was before , I’m just a new and improved mature
version of it ....mind you , I’m possibly pushing it slightly with use of the
word mature !
4) Pulling people up on basic common courtesy is not wise
unless you want a ringside seat of your own public flogging as they rip you to
pieces on social media unaware that you are actually part of their group. However
as your editor a point out it’s better to be talked about than not talked about.
5) Having a good moan about something will sometimes bear
good fruit - I mean it might just be coincidence that since I had a moan about
the constant mucking up of my other half’s prescriptions service from the
surgery and pharmacy has greatly improved but that’s my story and I’m sticking
to it.
6) Careful learner driver that I am it is beginning to make
me wonder if my 13 year old twins will pass their test before I do at the rate I’m
going.
7) Doctors appointments are about as easy to book up these
days as buying tickets online for shows at the O2.
8)Talking of shows at the O2 , Madonna has reminded us that
being in charge of your own clothing at all times is a good thing especially
when wearing a ridiculous pair of heels perched on the top of a flight of steps
.
9) Also please do be sure to purchase your tickets early
when booking to partake in any show at the aforementioned arena, unless you
want the reason you couldn’t see Michael McIntyre not to be because of someone
tall sitting in front of you but because you were so high you might suffer an
attack of vertigo .
And finally
10) If you are going to insist on visiting the dark side
with your hair during the hottest day of summer, do make sure that the dye has
been rinsed out thoroughly before venturing outside in the sweltering heat as
the zebra striped face as it trickles down your forehead and collects in
rivulets on your double chins is so not bang on trend this season.
So that’s 2015 wrapped up , let’s see what life has in store
for me in 2016, good or bad I’m sure you’ll all be the first to know about it
as i can’t resist sharing it all with you here so there remains only two things
left for me to say
Thank you for reading
and
Happy new year x
GIRL FROM THE NECK DOWN COLUMN - MEDWAY MESSENGER 4/01/2016
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