Hello candidates and welcome, we have the job of your dreams
up for grabs today, however before we make our final decision, we must first of
all insist that you participate in a little exercise that helps us sort the
wheat from the chaff, the weak from the strong and the yes that’ll do nicely’s
from the no definitely not’s.
The concept of the game is very easy; you might even
recognise it from your childhood, the aim is to be the only one left standing,
so without further ado let us proceed.
Are we all ready, lovely, then our first question for you to
ponder and answer in the affirmative by staying on your feet or the negative by
placing your bottom back on your seat is
“Do you have all the relevant qualifications to do this job?”
My calculations confirm that’s a full house for the yeses so
let’s move on to something a bit more challenging.
Question number 2.
“Are you willing to put your heart and soul into this job to
show how much passion you have for it, endeavouring night and day to make sure
you and the company are working to your highest ability and getting the best
results you can achieve?”
All of you again, excellent, that is good to hear, however you’re
making this very difficult for us to choose just one of you so let’s get down to
the real nitty gritty now or we’ll be here all day .
Question 3.
“Do you understand that this job requires that you must
always be well turned out, smart and nicely presented? “
That’s all of you again, fantastic , however you’ve jumped
the gun a little there as we haven’t actually finished the question so I’ll
carry on if I may with the second part which is ;
“Do you have any piercings,
tattoos, brightly coloured hair in all shades of the rainbow or extreme
haircuts or styling?”
You do, well I’m afraid to tell you that unfortunately
unlike the previous questioning this affirmative is in fact classed as a
negative so I’m afraid it’s a goodbye to you, yes I know you’re some of the
most qualified applicants for the job however we can’t have any of that sort of
uniqueness in this establishment so please close the door on your way out,
cheerio.
Next up ladies you’d do so much better in your job if you
slapped a bit of make up on your face and tottered round in a pair of towering
high heels that kill your feet.
What’s that , you don’t agree , I’m terribly sorry, that’s the end of the line for you then , mind
how you go .
Well, that seems to have narrowed things down a bit, who
have we got left, just you in the corner there.
That makes you our grand winner then, welcome to the
company.
What’s that, you only popped in to borrow a pen, oh well
never mind I’m sure you’ll pick the job up as you go along; you certainly look
the part anyway....
It amazes me that in this day and age such things as those
above can be the sole reasons for why somebody gets overlooked when they go for
a job interview, surely the most important thing you’re looking for in a
candidate is how brilliant and dedicated they are to their chosen occupation
and as long as they’re smart and well presented it shouldn’t matter about what
they choose to decorate themselves with on their rise to the top.
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