Tuesday, 11 November 2014

Let me entertain you ........with two bricks


You’ve spent 9 months as the world champion of morning sickness, waddling around on legs so swollen they wouldn’t look out of place on a zoological pachyderm whilst becoming a martyr to your haemorrhoids.

Today’s the day though when you’ll finally meet the little one who’s made all that suffering worthwhile and your body can finally start feeling like it’s getting back to normal.

All you need is a little help and support from those who care about you most as you share this beautiful, private moment where you’re the star of the big finale.

That is of course unless your partner is a former member of one of the world’s most successful boy bands in which case this access all areas performance is all about him and shared with just an intimate audience of a few million with the aid of the internet.

Just what you need when you’re feeling the least than the perfect glowing earth mother.
So let’s just hope that Ayda intends to return this touching gesture by entertaining us with a medley of Take that hits as we watch Mr. Robbie Williams undergoing his vasectomy.


GIRL FROM THE NECK DOWN COLUMN - MEDWAY MESSENGER 3/11/14

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