Tuesday, 18 November 2014

THE FELINE FUGITIVE


2.30pm, a car park in Rochester, a battle of wills is going down and there can be only one winner.

The claws are out and one of this warring duo is prepared to resort to cunning plans and dirty tricks to make sure that they are the victor.

An explosive and messy toilet stop has given one of them the perfect cover with which to launch a bid for freedom as the others attention is diverted by clearing up that which is offending the driver’s nostrils.

Lightning fast manoeuvres and a superb ability to conceal them self in even the smallest hiding place means that the sleeker of the two can easily outwit their much larger counterpart and upon finding a hard to reach space in which to stow away , they appear to have taken this jail break opportunity and nailed it.

No amount of tradeoffs is good enough for this wily creature to return to the fold, he’s seen it all before and he’s not going to give in to any kind of deal, not for anybody.

His chaser tries valiantly to entice him out but it’s to no avail, he isn’t budging.

With the softly, softly approach falling flat, the decision to use more forceful measures is agreed on , if he won’t come to us they think ,we’ll just have to try and get to him.

Like the enormous turnip they attempt and fail to heave him from his hidey hole so try a different tactic , approaching from the rear to try and catch him unawares but this slick ninja is having none of it, manoeuvring himself even further out of reach.

 However, his over confidence in evading capture soon turns out to be his undoing.

 A moment of smugness at his stealthiness leads him into letting down his guard for just a second and his opponent seizes this opportunity to swiftly remove the errant fugitive from his cosy nook .

He fights it all the way, vocalising his displeasure and making a last ditch attempt to flee by barging headfirst at the bars that trap him but he knows he’s beaten.

 And so it came to pass that covered in a layer of black and white hair, skid marks and wondering if i could contact the A team to ask where they get the sedatives to tranquilize B.A with when he “ ain’t going on no plane “ , I finally managed to deliver our feline friend Gizmo to his appointment at the vets .
GIRL FROM THE NECK DOWN COLUMN - MEDWAY MESSENGER 17/11/14

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