Storm in a D CUP

BREASTS!

Whoops, am I being a little overly ostentatious for you?

Sorry, I can be a bit of a handful at times, but in a week where the NHS proposed that mothers should ideally breastfeed their babies until they’re 18 months old as it would save them nearly 50 million a year, it’s still slightly odd to me that some people find something that’s so natural so offensive and think that mother and baby should put away in a corner.

For let’s be honest here  , the majority of mums who are nursing their babies out in the bosom of public life aren’t going out of their way to do it for titillation purposes , they’re just trying to give their child the nourishment it needs to be fit and healthy.

Which is more than can be said for the celeb in the see through dress leaving nothing to the imagination at a glitzy awards ceremony in the pages of your glossy magazine or the topless girl in the tabloid newspaper that’ll be read over many a morning coffee or tea.

They’re not being ushered away to “somewhere more discreet “, being told to cover themselves with a tablecloth or napkin or hidden away in a disabled toilet because they’re offending somebody.

Rihanna , at a fashion event is applauded for being a major style icon in a dress that would’ve had even the emperor famous for his new clothing  blushing at the pop queen in the altogether.

 But a new mum whips one out discreetly over afternoon tea and suddenly she and all those like her are being discussed and advised by middle aged political males on what they should or shouldn’t be doing to make sure Mr and Mrs Easily offended don’t get uppity whilst consuming their milky latte.

The thing is breast feeding is nobody else’s business but mother and baby’s .Chances are new mum doesn’t really want you to be having a good gawp at her being a milk machine either and will try to be discreet as she can possibly be to avoid drawing attention to herself .

So maybe, knockers of public breast feeding should just follow her lead, let her get on with it and look away if it’s something they don’t want to see.

For by making a fuss about it and causing a scene surely they risk making themselves look like the most overexposed boob of all ?


GIRL FROM THE NECK DOWN COLUMN - MEDWAY MESSENGER 15/12/14