British Ham-stores

Hello children, are we all settled in?

 Sit up straight and face front please that’s lovely, let us begin.

Today I’d like to introduce you to some hardworking mice and tell you all about the trouble they had with a stout and portly feline whose name was Pip.

The main character in our rodent tale is a little mouse called Chris, who your storyteller had the good fortune to grow up with and learn great things from.

 So enough with this idle chit chat, let’s get straight on with setting the scene for our story....

Down amongst the nettles, beneath the brambles and the stones there stood a little store where a group of mice worked their fingers to the bone.

Lampshades and school uniform, cutlery and bedding, vests, pants, socks, stocking fillers, something for your wedding.

You name it and they’d have it, it used to be the only place to go but now business wasn’t quite as brisk, in fact it had become quite slow.

They were struggling to make ends meet one day when a stoutly pussycat came calling, he could help them out he said, he seemed so welcome and warming.

I’ll invest my money in you, I’ll make you happy, just wait and see, purred the stately puss as he requested the crème de la crème for his tea.

One mouse however had her misgivings about their furry saviour; there was something about Pip Vert she didn’t trust, which smelt somewhat of a traitor.

Her suspicions were confirmed one morning as she diligently toiled away, she had yet to meet the new boss face to face and they were due a visit today.

She became aware of someone staring, talking behind her back; she spun round to be confronted with a rotund smug looking cat.

 Who are you she enquired as his breath into her face he blew,

“Don’t you know” he growled into her face, “I own this so I own you”

Angered at his pomposity our heroine did retaliate, you’ll be glad to hear she replied to him with “no-one owns me, mate”.

He chuckled to himself, said I like her she’s got spunk then slunk away to gorge himself on a great big business lunch.

Now Chris Mouse she retired a while ago, left the business well behind but others carried on working for the feline boss thinking they had peace of mind.

That was until Pip Vert jumped ship and their future plans hit the skids as he sailed away on his supermodel laden yacht and sold British Ham-Stores for a quid.

Now they wish they hadn’t trusted the fat cat with the big palatial house and wish they had listened to a small outspoken mouse.