APRIL FOOLISH

Ring, ring goes her mobile as she returns from her walk after bidding farewell to her boys on their way to school.

“I’ve forgotten something important “says the voice on the end of the line “can you bring it in for me, please “.

Knowing it will mean a walk back the way she’s just come in order to catch a bus, she umm’s and aah’s trying to think of another way round it but he sounds so fretful that she gives in and agrees that she will be there as soon as she possibly can.

After retrieving said piece of vital equipment she makes her way back up the alley to the stop on the main road where the bus she needs to catch departs from.

Grabbing a handful of change from her purse as the bus pulls into the stop she asks for a return and mind elsewhere pulls off her ticket, collects the change she’s been given and sits down in one of the seats.

Hopping swiftly off the bus when it reaches her destination, she takes the parents walk of shame past the class having their P.E lesson on the field and deposits the item at the office with a smile and the jolly quip “I wouldn’t mind but it’s the last thing i told him not to forget this morning “.

“Now, where’s that return ticket? “She mutters to herself rifling through the contents of her purse as she leaves the school grounds and makes her way back to the stop for her return journey.

And it’s at this point she realises she’s only been issued with a single.

“Oh for goodness sake, I quite clearly said return” she grumbles as she scrapes together what coins she has left to see if she can afford another ticket.

As she boards the public transport she wonders jokily to herself  “ Maybe I’m  the unwitting star of some kind of wacky wind up show that the late Jeremy Beadle would’ve been proud of  “ and hopes the rest of her day goes more smoothly .

Which it does and the following day she triple checks everything with her kids to make sure there are no forgotten items and the morning passes by with no technical hitches .

Housework done by 1.00pm having had a quiet morning with no disruptions she decides to pamper herself and gets out the hair dye she’s been itching to try for weeks .

Slathering it all over her hair, she decides to catch up with a bit of paperwork while the dye does its thing.

But wouldn’t you just believe it after an interruption free morning now suddenly everyone must see, hear or speak to her within this particular 35 minutes.

 Vastly embarrassed at having to answer the door to take in a delivery looking like the creature from the black lagoon and with a mobile covered in dark brown hair dye from the urgent phone calls she’s had to take she ponders again if maybe she’s being filmed secretly by some kind of prankster, feeling less “game for a laugh “as her week progresses.

When the next day culminates in a carbon copy replay of Monday due to one of them leaving his homework on top of the computer modem and finding on the way back that she’s been issued with completely the wrong  bus ticket  again she admits defeat , goes home to hide  and pledges to “ try again next week”

So is this someone’s idea of an elaborate April fool’s joke, up there with Panorama and the spaghetti tree being played on this stories heroine?

No, it’s just a week in the life of your Medway messenger columnist.